Christ is Risen

But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid,

for I know that you seek Jesus
Who was crucified.
He is not here,
for He has risen, as He said."

Happy Easter everyone! I have been so joyful today as I remember that Christ is risen indeed. And we have full assurance that we can have life through Him. Today is the most important day on the calendar, because it is the day we remember we have salvation that we never could have gained ourselves.
This day is especially important because, as Paul said, if Jesus had just died, and not risen, we would have no assurance of faith. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 15:17-19, "And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied." But then Paul goes on to say in verse 20, "But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead." Therefore, we have assurance of salvation. Christ is risen, just as He said.

He poured out His soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet He bore the sins
of many
and makes intercession for the transgressors.
Isaiah 53:12

Shout for joy to God, all the earth;
sing the glory of His name;
give to Him glorious praise!

Psalm 66:1-2

Prom 2011

Last night was prom. And at the least, it was an adventure.....
So it all began about 8 yesterday morning when I got up. Since I had nothing to do but wait, I figured school wasn't a bad idea, so I went ahead and did a few things on that. But then, at 12:30, the party began. I went and got my hair done by my hair dresser, Kiersten. I did a braid across the front, which pulled around to the updo in the back. It was really cute... although the teasing part of it was kind of painful. After I was done with my hair, my cousin, Macy, got her hair done. She drove me home just in time to have my other friend, Marina, come over and get ready with us. Our discussion consisted of very promish topics. Specifically, "Oh my gosh, which eye shadow should I wear? Oh my gosh, your eyeliner is so pretty! Hmm.... should I put more foundation on?" That is the girls that we are.... and when you're getting ready for prom, that is the kind of thing you have to talk about, ya know?
Marina left about 4:20 or so, and then my boyfriend, Daniel, came and picked me up about 4:30ish. He gave me my flowers and I tried pinning on his boutonniere... and failed miserably. It either twisted or fell off at least two or three times that night. His little sisters and mom came inside too to see me. Gahh his little sisters are such cuties. After a couple of minutes, me, Daniel, my mom, and my brother Spencer went to go pick up Spencer's date, Mary Helen. After that it was off to our church to go get pictures. Our church is really big and has a ton of nice places to go get pictures at... specifically a little pond by the church with a lot of pathways back there. It's so beautiful, and I absolutely love the spot. Last year we had a group of 6, so we took a lot of time doing different groups... dates, family pictures, individual shots... well -this- year we had 14 people. So we threw the dates up there on the steps, took some pictures, ran them off and dragged the next couple up there. We were trying to get done before we had to run off to get to the restaurant. We took couple shots and a big group shot, and then we were off to Carrabba's to eat supper. I've only eaten there once, and I only remember it being okay. But it was amazing this time. We had a table by the window, we had an awesome waitress, and the food was incredible. I sat at one end of the table with Daniel and Macy and her date, Taylor. We mostly talked about... ah... let's see.... the bratty neighbor I used to have, tomatoes, Taylor's awesome purple tie..... things like that. And of course, at least once over the course of dinner all the girls have to go back to the bathroom to get pictures and talk. I mean. That's just a ritual among us girls. You just do it, because that's what you've always done. But what is -so- utterly hilarious is when you're walking past and every human being there is staring a hole through you. I didn't pass by one table where the people didn't stare at us the whole time we were passing. The second we got into the bathroom, we were in fits of laughter.... it's really quite difficult to not laugh when all these people are staring at you. We got pictures of hair, touched our makeup up, had several women walk in and tell us we looked gorgeous.... the typical routine. So that was our general experience at Carrabba's.
After we finished eating, we went to the cute little local coffee shop I talked about a few weeks ago. We were all schnazzy walking in with our prom dresses and suits. We all got some coffee and/or desserts, and sat down and talked for a little bit. Everything was going great. Everything was fantastic. -Until-...... we decided it was time to leave. You see, my dad had been driving us around, and he was outside waiting for us to get ready to leave. So I was walking outside to tell him we were ready to leave. It was a pull door, and I had a lot of stuff in my hands, which included a nearly full cup of coffee. Oh joy. I couldn't open it, so I pulled it harder. And there it went. Coffee straight down my prom dress. Not just a couple of spots. A huge streak dripping down my dress. ~sigh~ What I get for being stupid. Anyway, I told my dad we were ready, went back inside, and showed Holly my dress. My brother was already off getting napkins for me to dry it up with... but I was still very unhappy about the predicament. We drove over to the beautiful ballroom where we have prom at every year. I walked in and complained to anyone who would listen that I had spilled coffee down my dress. Thankfully it was dark in the room, and it fell on a crease, so it looked like a shadow, even in the light.[our schnazzy group.... from left to right, back row: Sarah, Spencer, Taylor, Drew, Steven, Daniel, and Josh.
From left to right, front row: Mary Helen, Macy, Holly, Charity, me, Alana, and Rachel]


Once we got there, the party started. Literally. When Steven (Daniel's older brother) walked into the room, everyone started cheering. He's only that awesome. We started dancing and having the time of our lives. It was so nice to have all of my friends there, and to be able to have some crazy awesome dancing going on. Really there isn't much to say about the first 45 minutes or so... we just danced like crazy. I thought I was going to have a heart attack a couple of times, 'cause every time I was about to get off the dance floor, either I heard a song I knew and -had- to dance to it, or someone would ask me to dance. Gosh. But it was so much fun, I didn't care. Although I did have one minor mishap. In the middle of one dance I was in a group dancing, and my bracelet just fell off. Well, no big deal, I thought, I can latch it back together. I thought the little latch had come undone, and I thought I could fix it. But when I picked it up, I found it had broken in the middle for no reason whatsoever. By that time, I was a little less than happy. Coffee on my dress. Bracelet broken. I figured the night would go down hill from there.... thankfully, though, I was unmistakably wrong.
Finally they had the senior lead out, which was so sad this year, having all of these people I knew graduating. It was sad, and yet I was so happy for them too. After the senior dance, we all went back on the floor dancing even more than before. I danced with a bunch of my girlfriends, and with 7 or 8 of my guy friends. It was loads of fun. I can't really describe much that happened because it was all a big blur. I remember some particular dances, but generally all I remember is just being with everyone and having a joyful time. <3 Although I do remember doing the hokie pokie. And a Green Day song where four of my friends went up on the stage and played air guitar, bass, drums, and did some lip-syncing. The DJ had awesome music, in general. Except when he played Friday. I'd say about 90% of the kids left the dance floor the second the song came on. What was hilarious is the DJ must have been playing it off of an iPhone or something, because there was a huge beep in the middle of the song (probably a text message) which stopped it. Everyone cheered and immediately went back on the floor. Of course there are plenty of songs that home schoolers don't listen to... -wink- but since your dancing you usually don't pay attention to the lyrics. Thankfully. The only other song I can complain about was when I was dancing with my friend Joel, and it was talking about this guy killing himself.... it was so morbid and both of us were cracking up.
All I can say is it was an awesometastic prom, ten thousand times better than last year, even though last year was amazing too.
After we finished prom, we had an after prom breakfast at our house, as usual, and sat around and ate junk food. I could tell I was really, really tired by the end of it, because I was laughing hysterically at things that I usually think are stupid or annoying. Of course, it was about 1:30 in the morning and I had danced for nearly 3 hours straight, so it's somewhat understandable. Soon... too soon for my taste, everyone left, and prom for 2011 was over. Which made me sad, but it was so much fun I almost didn't care it was over. I have so many amazing memories from this year.
So that was prom from this year, and a fantastic one at that. I don't know how my junior or senior years will be able to top this year. This year was boss.

In honor of Springtime....

So I decided in honor of spring, I'd do a bit of a different post. You see, I'm a big music person. I need music. There's hardly a day that goes by when I don't listen to music on the radio, a CD, or my iPod. And because of this, I know hundreds of lyrics to hundreds of songs. In turn, I know lots of lyrics that remind me of spring.
So in honor of sunshine, rain, wind, flowers, and new things, here are some lyrics that sound springy.

Be glad that You have made blue for the sky and the color green that fills these fields with praise
:rich mullins:

Rain, rain on my face, hasn't stopped raining for days. My world is a flood, slowly I become the one with the mud.
-jars of clay-

And the black keys never looked so beautiful, and a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull
\jonas brothers/

And my heart's heavy now, but I'm not letting go of this hope I have that tells me spring is coming
~steven curtis chapman~

I don't mind spending every day out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay a while.
{maroon 5}

Emotions are footprints in the rain, but my heart pounds like a train wreck, the subway's on fire. I'll do my best to save what I save. Smoke or ash, we're never looking back. As strong as I can, I'll stay on the track
-a rotterdam november-

The rain is fallin on my windowpane, but we're hiding in a safer place
(colbie caillat)

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless
:taylor swift:



Springtime will be over soon... I can hardly believe it....

P.S. Prom in 3 days! Lots of pictures and details on it to come....

One of -those- weeks

Yeah, one of those weeks. One of these weeks:

• The lady you're supposed to babysit for cancels (and you seriously needed $25)
  
• Some of your best friends avoid you or treat you like you're weird
• You drop a cupcake in front of your youth group... icing down, of course
• You lose a $15 ticket to a dinner theater presentation
• You snap at your friends even when you don't mean it..... or... sometimes you do mean it but you shoulda kept your mouth gorilla glued shut
• You spill your chai tea latte in Starbucks
• You eat too much instead of losing weight right before prom
• You feel slightly depressed and blaahhh in and out throughout the day
  
• You memorize an extra page in your piano piece and your teacher doesn't even notice
• It rains incessantly without stopping once the whole week
• You look over at the clock for one last hope... and it's 11:12

Yeah. Those are the weeks. It's just one of those weeks when people don't really seem to care, and everything goes wrong. You get mad at everything. And seriously, rain and clouds don't help with the mood. This week hasn't been the best I've had as of late. It's not that anything really bad has happened, and it's not that really that many things have gone wrong.... and yet all of the little things have been bad, which just tends to get you down.
But really I feel like it's during these weeks when I have to rely on God the most. It's not relying on myself, or my friends boosting me up, or anything like that. It's all God. It's so neat, because tonight in my small group at church, we went completely off the curriculum and just studied some verses in the Bible, when God is talking, and He says, "I am" or "My name is". And we came up with lots and lots of awesome verses. But I feel like one that really applies to me is Proverbs 18:10, which is ironically the verse that I read aloud. It says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." We discussed what a strong tower is. We discussed how we find safety there. When we feel most vulnerable, when we feel most weak, when we feel like we just can't even stand up, we can run into our strong tower, where safety and strength is found, and where we can be renewed.
Also, while we were sitting in small group, I came across Psalm 55:22. The first part of the verse says, "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you." And while just flipping through my Bible tonight, I stumbled upon Psalm 43:5: "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God." We can find rest and safety in God. He promises to protect us, and shelter us, as Psalm 121:5-6 clearly state: "The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night." Christ is my shelter, the one Who will renew me, the one Who will hold me and make sure I don't fall. I think it is so incredible that God can love me that much, when I so often stumble and fall. Even when I'm going through a bad week like this and focusing on other things, He calmly and gently whispers to me, like He did with Elijah in 1 Kings 19, calling me to Himself, and reminding me I can rest in Him, and reminding me that I cannot stand without Him.
And I also love how God doesn't make things like this absolutely unbearable. There are just some things He sprinkles throughout a day, even when it's horrible, that just makes you smile and makes you think, "That was God's love showing through."
Like.....

• When I lost my dinner theater ticket, my friend who sold it to me just gave me another one
• My amazing sweet cousin gave me $5 for the heck of it
• When I spilled my latte at Starbucks, the guy who works there (yeah, the guy who knows my name ;) offered to make me another one
• Hugs from people
• Doing something in small group for a change that made me focus on God instead of myself and my problems
• Bible verses that completely apply to me that just happen to have something exactly to do with me

Things like that are just little reminders that God is watching me. I think bad weeks like this are just reminders that I need to focus on Him and love Him and spend time with Him. He -is- my life. He's my God. He is jealous for me, and He wants my love. He deserves my love and worship.
Bad weeks are bad. But they're also good. They're part of God's plan. They're there for a purpose. And God is there to help me through it. And I think that's pretty cool.

And He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me
And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us, oh

{david crowder band}

State Mock Trial Competition

So the State Mock Trial competition has come and gone. It was an amazing experience, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the feeling.

That is, the feeling of walking into the building with only four and a half hours of sleep and bacon laying on my stomach and feeling like I was about to puke.
Or the feeling of going against a tough team and a cranky judge.
Or the feeling of listening to "All I Do is Win" and "Baby" and "Tik Tok" and "Don't Stop Believing" at the reception.
Aahh, I'm getting far too ahead of myself. I need to back up a tad and explain the whole fantastic experience of the state competition.
So it all began on early Friday afternoon. We met at the church we usually meet at to load everyone and their luggage up in the vans and drive up to where state was being held. We drove up.... a long drive. And gosh darn it I was worn out. When we finally arrived at the hotel we would be staying at, all of us walked up to our rooms to chill out. We expected to be bored the whole afternoon, but our afternoon was far from dull. My roommates were supposed to be my buddies Rachel, Marina, and Molly, but Molly ended up switching out with another one of my friends, Holly. We spent some of the afternoon in our room talking and having a grand 'ol time. Then one of the parents of one of our attorneys on the team, Mrs. Ramona, came up and said she was driving to Target and told us if we wanted to, we could come along.
And let me tell you, going to Target with around a dozen unruly teenagers is about as delightful of a time as you can have. We played sardines and tried on hats and looked at cards and had the time of our lives. We stayed there for about 30-45 minutes, and then left to go to Chick-fil-a to eat supper before heading back to the hotel. I sat at a table with some of my favorite people: Steven, Josh, Daniel, Phillip, and Hance. After we finished eating, we loaded everyone back up into the vans and drove back to the hotel.
Once back at the hotel, we all piled into our coach's (Mr. Ricks) room to go over last minute things before the competition the next day. We collected and organized stipulations, team rosters, exhibits, witness statements, etc. After organizing all the documents, Courtney, Benji, Spencer, and Steven went over their openings and closings, which were marvelous (quite obviously). After completing that, all of the attorney/witness pairs teamed up and went through their directs one more time. After that was done, we were free to do whatever we wanted. Which for me, included making a hilarious video with Phillip and Daniel, drinking hot chocolate with Marina and Gabby downstairs, and hanging out with Rachel, Holly, and Marina until about 1 in the morning in our rooms. Yes. 1 in the morning. Let me tell you, we discovered when we woke up at 5:30 that it was not a good idea. But at the time, we were having too fantastic of a time to even notice.
Flash forward to 5:30. At 5:30, after getting a total of four and a half hours of sleep, an alarm going off is not exactly the top thing on your list that you want to hear. Holly and Rachel got up about 10 minutes before Marina and I did, and after that it was a race to get on makeup, fix our hair, change into our suits, eat breakfast, and tear out the door to the vans in the dark. About breakfast. I went downstairs with my AE sweat pants and a T-shirt still on, and I see all of these people in suits. Teams from all over the state. And then I ran into Molly, who was the only person downstairs who, like me, was wearing some good 'ol PJs. We completely appreciated the fact that we were the only people downstairs being fully awesome. Well, I got my breakfast which consisted of some fruit, a cup of yogurt, and a few pieces of bacon. Note to self - NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER eat bacon before a competition, no matter what. Well, I went back upstairs to eat breakfast, and got through the yogurt and two pieces of bacon. Then I raced to get ready, and then tore downstairs to be with the team.
Flash forward to about 7:30. We're standing in the parking lot. We're all hyped up. We're so excited. Our first time at state. Our very first. We're ready to go. We stood in the parking lot in a huge circle as we prayed before we went in. We walked into the building. We walked upstairs near to our rooms. We went ahead and entered the room where the defense would be competing in for the first round. But not 5 minutes after we had come in, another team came in, saying that was the room where they were competing too. Two or three of the guys looked to be about 10 years old, even though they had to be in high school. But I thought it was hilarious and figured the team would be a joke. Well, our team decided to go in the next room over, so we could have some time alone to prepare. Well, it was in that room that we discovered the team that would be going against our defense was the team that went to nationals last year, and was ranked in some of the top teams in the whole nation. ~gulp~ Imagine our nervousness. It was our first round, and we were going against one of the top teams in the nation!
Flash forward to 9:00. We're in our rooms. Our plantiff is prepared. I'm sitting there talking to Aaron, one of the witnesses for the plantiff. As we talked, the team we would be going against entered the room. Compared to the teams we saw at regionals, this team looked surprisingly professional. I assured myself this team would be no trouble at all.
Flash forward to 9:30. The jurors and judge finally, 30 minutes late, enter the room. The courtroom is called into order. We all act professional. We all sit up completely poised and prepared. Stomachs are churning a little. We begin. Courtney did her opening, which was phenomenal. Then the guy who would be crossing me stood up and gave his opening, which was surprisingly good. He sat down. I, being the first witness, stood up and went up to the witness stand. I was more nervous than usual.... not to mention the bacon I had eaten for breakfast wasn't helping much. The first couple of questions in my direct felt a little shaky because I was so nervous. But it got better. Well. Until the guy started objecting. He started objecting, and though they were good objections, some of them I didn't agree with. But apparently the judge hadn't gotten the proper amount of sugars in his coffee that morning because he seemed to be in a snappy, surly sort of mood. He was sustaining all the opposing council's most unfounded objections, and overruling the ones that were actually good and I thought should have been sustained. I was already somewhat ticked. Then my crossing attorney stood up, and let me tell you, he blew me away. I was amazed at how good he was. By far, he was the best crossing attorney I have had the whole year. He asked tough questions, and he was a feisty and full of pluck. I was very impressed. The judge was very cantankerous on cross, but I tried to stay calm and cool. As soon I was done, and I got down. I felt like I had just been crushed. The judge had sustained so many of the other team's objections, and my crossing attorney had been very difficult. Nonetheless, everyone told me I did well. The round continued, and things didn't get much better. The judge overruled about 99% of our objections, and sustained about 90% of their objections. And all of ours were good, and well founded. Most of theirs were good and well founded, but they really overused this one objection. I was getting frustrated. But finally, about the middle of the round, when their lead attorney was crossing our lead witness, Hayley, things got better. Automatically the judge seemed to be a fine & dandy mood, and he was being very fair, sustaining and overruling all the objections that should have been sustained or overruled. I was impressed. The rest of the round just got better. By the end, I felt like we had done a fantastic job.
After the round was over, we had a little bit of a recess, and then everyone came back into the room so the jurors would give us their thoughts/critique. They seemed relatively fair. And then, after they were done, we were done. Yes. No longer did I have to listen to an cantankerous judge. We had a quick meeting with our whole team, and I was delighted to hear our defense had actually done quite well against the marvelous team who had done so well in nationals last year.
Flash forward to around 11:45 or so. We went downstairs to eat some food our parents had fixed (see, that's the great thing about being on a homeschool team. All the moms are great cooks and they fix food for large crowds all the time anyway). I grabbed a tasty wrap and some grapes, and hung out with Marina for about 45 minutes. When we walked downstairs again, I realized everyone was gone. I freaked out, ran down the escalator in my high heels (which was difficult considering I had an awful blister), and tried to find out where we were supposed to be. I ran into my mom who told me which room to head off to, and I walked very quickly down to the room with Marina, and we were barely in time to get there. Thankfully the room was pretty busy and everyone was buzzing around, so no one really noticed that we were late in getting to the courtroom. I could already tell this team wouldn't be nearly as hard, and I was correct. I wasn't nearly as nervous, as my initial nerves were out, not to mention I knew the team wouldn't be as hard. The round went very smoothly, for the most part. The judge was fair (sometimes overly lenient, in my opinion), the other team was relatively good, and our team was better. You really can't get much better than that. I felt like everyone did fantastically.
After that round, we all got together and headed off to the reception. We hung out for about 30 minutes, until they finally started announcing awards and such. They listed off all the coaches and had them come up, and they did all the official clapping for all the people who put this stuff together who you really couldn't care less about, because honestly all you care about is hearing who is going to the semifinals the next day. Only four teams (out of about 18) go to the semifinals, and it's a huge deal if you go. If I recall correctly, they did the outstanding attorney awards first. I was so incredibly excited when they announced that my brother, Spencer, had won an award in both rounds, which only about 6 attorneys did, out of the at least 20 or 30 that they called out. Also, one of our other attorneys, Benji, won an award, which was fantastic. Unfortunately, none of our witnesses won an award, but we did get something very, very exciting. You see, they give out a professionalism award every year to one team who displays professionalism and good sportsmanship. I wasn't exactly expecting our team to get it, especially since our team is a first timer. But they announced the winner of the professionalism award was..... our team. Our team. Imagine the excitement! Out of 18 teams we had won it! We were very excited of course, and my bro went to go receive the award.

Then, it came time. The time. The time to announce whether we were going to semifinals or not. The first team was announced. It didn't surprise me. The second team was announced. It didn't surprise me. The third team was announced. It didn't surprise me. They were about to call out the last team. I had resigned myself to not winning. I had a gut feeling we wouldn't. They called out the last team. It wasn't us. I half felt like crying, but half felt so pleased, so satisfied, and so incredibly proud of our team I could bust. I gave our team members hugs, reminding them we were an awesome team, and we won the professionalism award, and we all did well. We were all somewhat disappointed, but we were all proud of ourselves. Proud we made it to state. Proud we did well. But mostly proud because we're a team. And we stick up for each other. And we encourage each other. And we're awesome whether we win or not. We're a team. And I'm proud of that.

But really a huge piece of excitement came today. We didn't know who had won the finals. One of the teams who had gone to finals was the team that our defense had gone against in the first round. We found out today they had won, and we were excited because we had been rooting for them. But the best piece of news is this team, the team who had ranked in some of the highest teams in the nation, contacted our attorney coach today and told us that first, they were disappointed we hadn't gone to semifinals because they had been rooting for us, and second, they said we were quite possibly the best team they went against in the whole weekend. Imagine that! I'm so proud of us. I'm proud of our team.
We rock.

To all the teams next year:
We Will Rock You

-music is an outburst of the soul-

Ah. So I know that I just previously did a post on piano. But I can't help but do another one. For some reason, lately I have just fallen in love with piano. I've been just sitting at the piano actually wanting to play. You see, I seem to play this game with my piano - it includes hating it for about three months, and then falling in love with it anew and adoring it with every ounce I can muster. I've been playing as much as I can with as much passion as I can. As Ludwig van Beethoven put it, "To play without passion is inexcusable!" Mhmm. So very true.
As of right now, I'm terribly excited, because I have an excuse to play and play and play. That reason being - it appears that I will soon be working on 10 pieces. I'm working on two sections of a Beethoven sonata (Op. 2 No. 3), the piece called Soft Lights, Chopin's Nocturne in E-flat Major, Mozart's Concerto in G Major, maybe a Bach invention or two, Moszkowski's Etude in A flat Major, and my piano teacher wants to start me on a Scarlatti sonata, an impromptu by Schubert, and a partita by Bach. So I'm very very excited and happy about it. Not to mention I want to learn some stuff by myself - some Jim Brickman, George Winston (only the best pianist ever), some hymn arrangements, and maybe - possibly - some Schumann. Not to mention I like coming up with things myself. But that's the plan for now.
I shall leave all of you off with this quote from what I was writing in my journal this afternoon concerning piano:
"It brings me joy. It's fun and awesome. I dunno what made me suddenly fall in love with it again. It's like around the competition and Festival I fell in love with it. Actually... come to think of it, it happened around this one time... So Adam [my youth pastor] taught a message on the parable of the talents, and he was saying how we should use everything God gave us. And while we were discussing it in small group, it hit me that I wasn't using all my talents on piano. I realized God has given me a talent for piano (both literally and figuratively ;), and if I don't use it, I am dishonoring God. After that, plus the fact I had the competition and Festival coming up, I put 30 minutes to an hour in every day, when previously I had only been putting in two or three hours a week [and yes, actually surviving pretty well with it, if I do say so myself], at best. But God will bless me if I used my talent to His glory. He wants me to use it to His glory. And I want to use it to His glory. Perhaps it's like Eric Liddell says about running in Chariots of Fire, 'I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.' I mean... that's how I feel when I play piano. I don't always feel that way. But I know He has given me something He hasn't given everybody. I need to grasp it, hold on to it as tightly as I can and give it my all."


P.S. Watch this guy play piano. I'm hoping to death this will be the impromptu that I get, because it's gorgeous. I want to play like this guy sooooo flippin bad. He's the epitome of musical.

~piano~

One thing has been on my mind this whole week. What? Piano. Why? Probably because I had two piano competitions this week. Okay... so one of them wasn't an actual competition, but it was an evaluation where you play in front of a judge, which to me is just as bad as a competition. This whole week I've been practicing piano like crazy. Lots of my free time went into playing and practicing and going through things over and over and over. Mostly I've been worried about the concerto I've been playing. I've only had it about 6 or 7 months, and that isn't exactly long enough to learn a 10 minute piece to play in front of a judge. I didn't really have it down until... well... honestly, yesterday. I thought I was ready to go and show the judges that I was the most incredible pianist ever.
Well... today came the competitions. The first one, Festival, like I said was just an evaluation. But I had my concerto first. Without warming up. BAD idea. My concerto.... I bombed it. It died. I failed. It was absolutely awful... at best. Okay, honestly, it wasn't so bad that I forgot where I was and had to stop or anything like that. But I missed so many notes (or even two or three measures at some points), it was pretty bad. Some of it actually wasn't too bad. Other parts, I'd rather have erased from my memory. But that was the piece I was most nervous about. So when it was over, it was over. And goodness gracious was I happy about it being over. I played a couple of hymns for the same judge, and then I was done with that judge. Thankfully. And I hope I never see her again because it would be an embarrassment after how I played.
Anyway, I was done with the concerto, so pretty much all of my jitters went away. I had two more pieces to play - one being the Scherzo section of a Beethoven sonata, and the other piece is called Soft Lights. I went in to see the next judge, who listened to those two pieces. They went quite fantastically, for the most part. Understandably, though, because I've been playing the sonata for over a year, and Soft Lights is slow and not terribly difficult either. So I was done with that. I was done with Festival. As far as I know, I got a superior in my hymns and solo pieces. My concerto? I don't even want to know what awful comments I got. But it's okay - thankfully things like that don't upset me much.
This afternoon, though, I had the real competition. The big deal. The thing that actually counted. Amusingly enough, I was immensely less nervous about this. Reason being, I didn't have to touch my concerto again. No more concerto playing for another scary judge. This competition was at 3:15 for me. I played the sonata and Soft Lights again, amusingly enough for the same judge that I played them for this morning. But I was glad to have him, because he seemed very amiable and fair. I played my sonata, and felt a little more shaky on it than I did the previous morning, but it wasn't too bad. And like I said, the judge seemed fair, and he seemed to be the kind of judge who would be lenient, and understand being nervous and such (and heaven knows I get nervous... sometimes my hands shake so bad that I completely fail at a piece). I then played Soft Lights... and rocked it. It was nearly perfect. Maybe one or two minor slip ups, but besides that it went marvelously. I walked out. I was done with all competitions. Joy and freedom and release. Quite honestly, I hate piano competitions. Playing for my own pleasure, okay, that's the epitome of fun. Playing for a judge under pressure with my hands shaking and me messing up every two notes? No thank you. Anyway, I felt pretty good about it, but I wasn't sure if I was going on to state. My dad and I waited outside for the last two students to play, and then the judge would announce who was going to state. Finally, they were finished. All the students stood in a row looking intently at the judge. My heart was beating faster and faster. The judge finally said, "And the winner for the 10th grade students...." He announced the name of some random girl I didn't know. I figured there was only one winner per grade, so I felt kind of disappointed. I had wanted to win, but it wasn't a big deal. But then... he called out my name. My name. Like. My name. MY name. I wanted to scream and dance around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Okay, unpleasant imagery, terribly sorry, but really, I was unbelievably excited! I couldn't believe I had actually made it to state! My teacher was super excited too (especially after the concerto fiasco this morning). And so I had done it. I was immediately texting my boyfriend, calling my mom.... it was an awesome moment.
In fact... my dad and I were so excited we celebrated with some Starbucks and their awesome new petite desserts (they're so cute and yummy), and then my dad took me to Barnes & Noble and told me to go get a book that I wanted to buy... which of course, happened to be a music book. ;) It's the piano solos from the new version of Pride & Prejudice (okay, I'm not a huge fan of the movie, but the music is gorgeous).
So. That was my day. Filled with too much piano for my taste. But it was quite marvelous and I had a wonderful time. <3
Have a blessed Sunday!