One of -those- weeks

Yeah, one of those weeks. One of these weeks:

• The lady you're supposed to babysit for cancels (and you seriously needed $25)
  
• Some of your best friends avoid you or treat you like you're weird
• You drop a cupcake in front of your youth group... icing down, of course
• You lose a $15 ticket to a dinner theater presentation
• You snap at your friends even when you don't mean it..... or... sometimes you do mean it but you shoulda kept your mouth gorilla glued shut
• You spill your chai tea latte in Starbucks
• You eat too much instead of losing weight right before prom
• You feel slightly depressed and blaahhh in and out throughout the day
  
• You memorize an extra page in your piano piece and your teacher doesn't even notice
• It rains incessantly without stopping once the whole week
• You look over at the clock for one last hope... and it's 11:12

Yeah. Those are the weeks. It's just one of those weeks when people don't really seem to care, and everything goes wrong. You get mad at everything. And seriously, rain and clouds don't help with the mood. This week hasn't been the best I've had as of late. It's not that anything really bad has happened, and it's not that really that many things have gone wrong.... and yet all of the little things have been bad, which just tends to get you down.
But really I feel like it's during these weeks when I have to rely on God the most. It's not relying on myself, or my friends boosting me up, or anything like that. It's all God. It's so neat, because tonight in my small group at church, we went completely off the curriculum and just studied some verses in the Bible, when God is talking, and He says, "I am" or "My name is". And we came up with lots and lots of awesome verses. But I feel like one that really applies to me is Proverbs 18:10, which is ironically the verse that I read aloud. It says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." We discussed what a strong tower is. We discussed how we find safety there. When we feel most vulnerable, when we feel most weak, when we feel like we just can't even stand up, we can run into our strong tower, where safety and strength is found, and where we can be renewed.
Also, while we were sitting in small group, I came across Psalm 55:22. The first part of the verse says, "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you." And while just flipping through my Bible tonight, I stumbled upon Psalm 43:5: "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God." We can find rest and safety in God. He promises to protect us, and shelter us, as Psalm 121:5-6 clearly state: "The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night." Christ is my shelter, the one Who will renew me, the one Who will hold me and make sure I don't fall. I think it is so incredible that God can love me that much, when I so often stumble and fall. Even when I'm going through a bad week like this and focusing on other things, He calmly and gently whispers to me, like He did with Elijah in 1 Kings 19, calling me to Himself, and reminding me I can rest in Him, and reminding me that I cannot stand without Him.
And I also love how God doesn't make things like this absolutely unbearable. There are just some things He sprinkles throughout a day, even when it's horrible, that just makes you smile and makes you think, "That was God's love showing through."
Like.....

• When I lost my dinner theater ticket, my friend who sold it to me just gave me another one
• My amazing sweet cousin gave me $5 for the heck of it
• When I spilled my latte at Starbucks, the guy who works there (yeah, the guy who knows my name ;) offered to make me another one
• Hugs from people
• Doing something in small group for a change that made me focus on God instead of myself and my problems
• Bible verses that completely apply to me that just happen to have something exactly to do with me

Things like that are just little reminders that God is watching me. I think bad weeks like this are just reminders that I need to focus on Him and love Him and spend time with Him. He -is- my life. He's my God. He is jealous for me, and He wants my love. He deserves my love and worship.
Bad weeks are bad. But they're also good. They're part of God's plan. They're there for a purpose. And God is there to help me through it. And I think that's pretty cool.

And He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me
And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us, oh

{david crowder band}