Offering love where love is not due

Love.
It's a hard thing.
Obviously I'm not talking about romantic love, nor am I talking about loving friends. That isn't hard. That comes easily. But when we talk about that sort of love, we are talking about a feeling. And a feeling is not what I'm talking about.
Feelings aren't hard to express. They come naturally to us. Actions are harder, especially when they go against our feelings. If we're mad at someone, our natural reaction as humans with sinful natures is not to go up and hug them and start a lovely conversation with them. To be honest, when I'm mad at someone, the first natural reaction that comes to my mind is hitting the person right in the smacker. Though grace is working in me, the sinful nature still resides in my being, and in everyone else as well. We don't naturally offer love where it is not due. We don't naturally offer kindness to people who have hurt us. It goes against every part of our sinful nature.
However, as Christians, we are called to offer love where it seems like it is least deserved. This is a practice God has been trying to teach me. Recently, I've been reminded of things that people have done to me in the past and pain that they have caused to me. My natural reaction would be to hurt them back, but through reading the Bible, I have been reminded that that is not the way God would have me act towards these people. And although I could sit here all day and "remind" God of all the things people have done to me, and how it isn't fair, as Rich Mullins once amusingly stated, there is no point in fighting with God because He always wins.
God has called us to a higher standard than the world. We are to show love to those who have hurt us, just as Christ showed love to those who hurt Him. To me, Christ's most loving act on earth was not His healing, not His raising from the dead, not His reaching out to the poor and the forgotten, but when He was hanging on the cross, bleeding, almost dead, and He asked God to forgive those who were mocking Him and spitting on Him. That is truly a marvelous act of grace and love. Christ not only handled His death without biting back, but even asked God to show grace and forgiveness to those who had killed Him. Because Christ lived in such a way, we are called to do the same, as Peter says in 1 Peter 1:15, "But as He Who called you is holy, you also be holy in all conduct."
Why are we called to love? Because, as John states in 1 John 4:8, God is love. We cannot abide with someone Who is in and of Himself love. It's impossible. It's like trying to mix water and oil. Love and hate do not mix, and cannot mix. In fact, 1 John 4:20 puts it this bluntly, "If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." That's pretty intense. John is saying that we cannot love God if we don't love the people around us. That is because love and hate, like water and oil, don't mix. We are to love those around us just as Christ first loved us.
But how are we to love? 1 John 3:18 puts it this way, "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." Hm. Now that puts an interesting spin on things. I don't know about in other parts of the country or world, but here in the South, there is plenty of honey-covered words with lots of "bless their hearts" and "oh that poor dear" and "I just love that dear old soul." And although that's all fine and good, John is telling us here that we can't just say loving things. We have to do loving acts. As I said before, although love is typically defined as a feeling, in the Bible it is described as an action. If you turn to 1 Corinthians 13, the most commonly read chapter in the Bible about love, you don't see one word about feelings. Love is an action: it is being patient, kind, humble, calm, hopeful, and enduring. If someone hurts you, you will naturally feel a certain way. The Bible doesn't say to feel a certain way. But it does say to act a certain way. Acting against our natural sinful inclinations is strange to us, and looks weird to others. But God didn't call us to be normal, He called us to be holy. Thus, we are to act in such a way as to glorify Him. Loving others glorifies Him and shows others His love. We are to love others in deed.
I think one of the most amazing ways that the Bible describes love is in 1 Corinthians 13:8, which says, "Love never ends." Love never ends. It doesn't stop. We are to love others in deed, and not only that, but we are to love each other endlessly. That is where the world typically twists the definition of love the most. Our culture tells us that love often does end. That's why divorces are so common and why people fight and end friendships so much. It's because today's mindset is that love does end. That's because they believe love is a feeling. And if that were the case, then yes, love will wane, and sometimes completely end. We won't always have feelings of love toward our friends or spouse. Hard times will come and try to shake love. Feelings won't last. But since love is an action, it can last. When feelings wane and when hard times come, feelings won't carry us through. Feelings are fragile and go back and forth. Set actions, however, are not fragile, and they don't go back and forth. So when feelings fall apart, true love will carry through. True love never ends.

As I am reminded of these aspects of love, I remember that even when I don't feel like offering love to someone, and even when it appears that they don't deserve it, we are told to love those who hurt us. We are told to love our enemies, just as Christ loved those who hated Him. Through Christ, we have the ability to do so.
"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
-1 John 4:9-11

Blessing Deeper Than We Know

Christmas.
Oh it's been so lovely this year.
Of course, when is Christmas not lovely?
But despite the fact that it has been lovely, I've been reminded of things that are even more lovely. And those are the most important things I've learned this year.

I've learned this year that most things that we make out to be so very important really mean nothing at all and the things that we tend to treat with least respect and value are the things that we need to value the most. We take so many things for granted.  Sometimes I think sometimes it takes loss to realize just how important some things are. That occurred to me this year. And it was jolted into me just how much I need to value things I had been neglecting.
I think a lot of times when we grow up, we begin to devalue the more important things.  And we tend to devalue those things because we've been taught and told and had it hammered into us that material things are more important. And perhaps we've heard the cliched, sappy statements about family and friends too many times. And perhaps the world begins to tell us as we become older that looks, money, possessions, popularity, and other completely worthless objects are the things that we need to value most. This year I've begun to learn that those things are pointless. They hold no lasting value. Sure, feeling popular is nice. Having the latest gadget, fine. Being rich, no problems there. Being gorgeous, that's all good. But when we begin to build our lives around if we're popular enough, if we look rich enough, if we're attractive enough, that's when things become ridiculous. We need to go back and remember those perhaps overly sappy, cheesy statements about friends and family. About making a difference. About loving others. Maybe those cliched statements aren't so far off.

The most valuable lesson I've learned this year is to treasure true friendship.

The value of a truly trustworthy friend.

Having people who you can chill out with. 

Sit around and listen to Weird Al songs with.

People who you can be a little crazy with. 

Who will love you anyway

And join in with your insanity

People who you know love you.

And will not matter what.

Who will listen to you, and who you'll listen to.

Who will

hug you.

Tell you it's alright.

The kinds of people who you can cry on their shoulder

and they can cry on yours.

Who you can laugh with.

Who you'll share your deepest thoughts with

and be frank with.

People who you

trust

care about

love.

Those people are the biggest blessings you'll receive in your life. You can't take them for granted. And you can't thank God enough for giving them to you. These people make you laugh, help you through hard times, challenge you to be a better person, and make your life more beautiful than you could ever ask for.

"The blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weight thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
-Dinah Craik