Christmas Eve Musings

Right now I'm sitting in my dining room next to the Christmas tree, listening to Christmas Gregorian chants playing quietly in the background. Soon I'll be watching It's a Wonderful Life with my family while eating popcorn. But right now I wanted to sit down and type.
It's been a long semester. It's been filled with school, with extracurriculars, with college applications, with stress. But with Christmas here, I've been able to relax. To forget about some of the things that have been stressing me all semester. For me, Christmas has always been a time to take a break from the long year and just relax. It's often a haven in a sea of the year. And in that respect it hasn't been any different.
However, it has been different in some ways: I'm using this Christmas season to prepare myself for the last semester of high school. And I'm using it to be thankful for the little things. I suppose you could say that that has been the theme of this Christmas season for me. It's been all about little things:
My favorite Christmas song coming on the radio while I'm driving to Starbucks.
Finding the perfect Christmas present for someone.
Spending time with my closest friends.

Watching glitter gleam in the shine of Christmas lights.

Making fudge and candy.

Dancing with my favorite person.

Wearing red lipstick.
Talking to my best friends before watching The Hobbit.
Cuddling up on the couch with a blanket to watch a movie.
Snuggling in blankets with my cousin watching one of our favorite TV shows late at night.
Walking around in an abandoned barn.

Being reminded of my favorite things.
Perfectly wrapping a present or fluffing up tissue paper in a bag just right.
Simply having best friends.

Carefully unwrapping a present.
Going shopping and singing along with the radio while walking around in the cold.
Sitting in Starbucks on Christmas Eve, drinking chai, reading The Fellowship of the Ring.
The sheer, bare beauty of winter.

It has really been all about the little things in life. But isn't that what life really is? A conglomeration of little things fit together in a perfect puzzle of life?
Although we talk about the "big" things that happen in our life, and although those big things are important, our life consists of these little things. These every day beauties that pop up all around us. And even the big things come about because of the normal things that occur day to day.
The little things of this season have been everything about this season. Although it hasn't been a terribly eventful Christmas season, the little things have made it all that it is. It really has been a beautiful season, thanks to the little things, family, and incredible friends who have filled it.

Life of a High School Home School Senior

Yep. It's that time. I've been a senior for a month now, and I have to say I've never had such an exhilarating experience in my life.
Which for me means sitting at home all day every day doing school.
Seriously you guys, I'm an introvert, get over it.

Okay, no really, senior year has been awesome so far. And although my life hasn't been super filled with awesome things, it's starting to get that way.
Chorus starting this Friday.
Mock trial starting on the 20th.
Plus all the parties, dances, and all that jazz happen late autumn through the winter. So it's going to be an exciting time.
Plus I'm planning on having my senior pictures done soon by the lovely Mary Helen. (you should go check her out. she's pretty fantastic) I'm pretty excited. I mean, we're talking senior pictures you guys. You only get these things done once. It's really my first real, legit "photo shoot" I've ever had done. So yeah. Excitement you guys.

But really, senior year is just pretty chill.
Sometimes.
Today, not so much. It was more like get up, study like heck for a Latin test, take hour long test, go babysit, go to Panera, come back and stress out about school, go hang out at Chick fil a with buddies, go back home, type.
Friday, it'll be like, get up, do school like crazy, write papers, do last minute English AP work, go to chorus, go to my buddy's house, do school there, sleepover with her and our buddies.
That may not sound like much, but when you have ideas for paintings running around in your head, applications piling up on your desk, and tons of White Collar to watch, I can assure you things get more stressful. (and yes, White Collar IS just as important as college applications. I mean seriously you guys. We're talking Neal Caffrey here.)

Honestly, I've found senior year to be a time of reflection more than anything else. It's interesting to look back on my freshman and sophomore year, and see how I've progressed since then. Honestly, in some ways, I'm just the same. I'm still that uncomfortable, fourteen year old who hides in the bathroom when she gets scared of everyone (it's just now, I can hide behind the trusty iPhone). I'm still the girl who makes everything look worse than it is (it's just now, I only complain to my best friends). I'm still the girl who can walk outside on a crisp fall morning, breathe in the air, and feel like she just breathed in joy. I may or may not still dance around my room to Taylor Swift on occasion. I may or may not scribble down angry, ineloquent words in my journal from time to time about stupid people and the stupid things they do all the time.
But really, I've changed in many ways too. I'm more comfortable with myself. I know my passions and I constantly plan ways in which I can build up my expertise in them. I know when to say no to things. Although I'm still absolutely terrified of people, I've learned to be more outgoing, and less like a female Mr. Darcy; too proud to say a word to other people, because he would "not take the time to practice." I've learned to speak up and shut up at the proper times. (well. most of the time.) I've learned that God is the only solid foundation there is. I've learned that liking things even when they're not cool is okay. And I'm still learning not to worry about what other people think about the way I dress, talk, and act. It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there.

High school, as it is for most people, has been a time of learning for me. And yeah, I am basically going into the whole "I know who I am now" kind of thing that seniors go into, but can I say I'm honestly excited? As a freshman and sophomore I was terrified of what other people thought about me. It wasn't until I became a junior that I started letting go of that. High school is definitely a period of learning who you are, and it's happened to me.

However, now I'm not really focusing on the fact that I've learned who I am. I'm more focused on what I want to do with who I am. I'm an artist and a writer at heart. And I want to do incredible works to the glory of God with those passions. And considering that, I better get into college. And considering that... well... the applications are on my desk...

And so that's what's in the mind of a high school senior right now.

You and I

You and I sit on the back porch. It is mostly silent except for the squeaking of the old, wicker rocking chairs outside. We haven't said anything in five minutes, but it doesn't really matter. I don't think either of us care. I watch a bird flutter down onto the patio. It chirps, jumps, and flies away. I chuckle. You grin. We continue to sit. I look over at you. You look back. I smile at you. You smile back. And I look away, thinking about how good I have it.
It's the simple life. You chuckle. "What?" "Nothing." I grin. Nothing of any consequence may be said within an hour of us sitting like this, yet I feel like I've had the conversation of a lifetime.
It begins raining, and as we begin to talk, we can barely hear even our own voices over the sound of the roaring of water through the gutters overhead. The smell of April fills my lungs as the rain sends up an earthy smell from the ground. A disgruntled wren flies through the air to the bushes by the picket fence. You and I talk more. And our thoughts turn to a more serious mood as the wind flies through the screen and rushes into the brick wall behind us, finding no place to go. As we talk, I learn to think like you think, because I believe it's a much more interesting state of mind. And maybe we'll go back to sitting in silence, or maybe our conversation will continue for another two hours. I never know.
It's just you and me sitting together. And that's all I really want.

You and I ride down the interstate blasting Relient K or The Avett Brothers. We sit in absolute silence all the way up. The hypnotizing lull of the tires rasping across the black asphalt put me in a quiet state of mind. You and I sit there, occasionally making a comment on something, perhaps even holding a conversation from time to time. 45 minutes of this, and all is right with the world.
We're on the way back. Another 45 minutes of this. This time it's night, and we pass through states of city lights and star lights. We laugh the whole way back. Anberlin, or perhaps Rich Mullins or Simon and Garfunkel (or if we're feeling in an epic mood, the Dark Knight Rises soundtrack) is playing in the background. We talk about life and people and everything that comes to mind until we get home.
Sometimes we might even sit up in my room until three in the morning continuing a conversation that probably no one else would understand. But that's okay. I'd listen to you talk for three hours straight. It's fun to listen to you talk. I learn so much when I listen to you, and I think you teach me more about life than most "wise" people do. I don't want to be anywhere else right now. Because,
it's just you and me talking with each other. And that's all I really want.

You and I sit up until five in the morning. We talk about the most insane things, and laugh about the stupidest things. Know what I like about you? I like the fact that you can make me laugh about stupid things. I like it when people can do that. And when I'm so mad at you that I want to scream, you just sit there and remain calm. Or laugh at me. Either one typically works, and you know when to use which one. We're best friends. You and I both have a sense of wonder about us that few people have. A sense of ridiculousness that few people have. And I like that. I like sitting out in the yard with you with no tent staring at the stars. I like watching the moon set behind the pine trees in your backyard until it has completely disappeared among the evergreens.
We may talk for hours. We may watch our favorite TV shows. We may watch a stupid movie from Disney. Whatever we do, we have fun at it. We ride in your car blasting music with the windows down in the middle of winter. We talk about the most serious of topics, and worry about things that shouldn't be worried about. But we get each other.
It's just you and me being best friends. And that's all I really want.

In Desire of Autumn

I'll admit it, I'm kind of a fall girl.
Although I'm pretty sure most of you know that.

I know I talk a lot about how much I love the sweaters, cicadas (just so long as they're not on my face, head, or within fifty feet of me), leggings and jeans, pumpkins, apple cider, and the like. And it's true, I absolutely adore those things. I love the idea of back to school supplies, carrying around Vera Bradley purses and bags, sitting in the backyard with my camera, and all those lovely things that just come with autumn.
However, there is something that I don't talk about a lot in relation to autumn, and that is music.
To me, each season has a "sound" in music. Spring is a conglomeration of beautiful indie music and the beginning of summer music. Summer music is some good rock music, ranging from Southern rock like Lynyrd Skynyrd to some good "hard" rock (at least in my terms) like Anberlin. Winter music is usually just Christmas music. Incessantly. Constantly. Every second of the day. I listen to a little bit of other stuff, you know, a little bit of Coldplay awesomeness, but really. Christmas music is really all I need during winter.
But as for autumn, it has probably the most distinct sound. It's just the most beautiful of sounds. To me, autumn sounds like The Avett Brothers, Relient K, Paul Colman Trio, Michael Buble, Ella Fitzgerald, Nickel Creek, David Crowder Band, and Dashboard Confessional. It's a mix of light rock, bluegrass, and the good 'ol 40s classics.
I know to most people some of these bands might not sound particularly "fallish," but to me they have particular memories attached to them. I remember finding the song "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional last autumn and absolutely falling in love with it, listening to it incessantly. I remember listening to Michael Buble and Ella Fitzgerald the past two years, and especially last year; that music helped me through so much. I remember blasting The Avett Brothers and Relient K while driving down the interstate with my brother. Paul Colman Trio reminds me of Chicago in the fall. These things are just lovely to me.

Since autumn is coming, I decided to follow the trend of posting playlists from Spotify to my blog. This is an August playlist. You'll definitely hear a mix of summer sounds and autumn sounds. It could go from Anberlin to Ella Fitzgerald in a heartbeat, so be prepared for anything. *wink*



To me these songs bring a roaring end to swimming in the river, eating frozen yogurt, driving down the interstate in the heat of summer, and watching summer flicks at the theater, while heralding in watching White Collar, drinking hot tea, cider, and chai incessantly, sitting outside with blankets and hot, homemade popcorn, and festivals.

So long summer. Welcome autumn.

August - A month for thought

August is my least favorite month of the year.

Although this might seem like a pessimistic thing to say, let me give you a few reasons why I hate August so much:

First. It's the month in which I start back to school. And this year I am a senior. And I am not ready for it. I started school on Monday, and literally sat at my desk for nearly thirty minutes thinking, "I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this." You guys, I'm seriously not ready to be a senior.

Second. For the past two years, I have just gotten back from a two week long camp where I had super close friends. And I return to home. And home isn't exactly that lovely fairy tale land called summer camp. Home is that place called real life. Fairy tale mindsets and the stuff the real life throws at you don't dwell well together, I've learned.

Third. I have many bad memories attached to August. For the past two years, August has been a time in which I have gone through something incredibly difficult in my life. I'm starting to feel like August is a virtual Friday the 13th for me.

Fourth. It is that time that is just before autumn. And you want autumn so badly. But you can't reach it because it's still ninety-six and a half degrees outside. 

And the list goes on.

I'm not a fan of August.

However, at the same time, I feel rather reclusive and thoughtful this month. As I said, the past two years, two of some of the hardest things in my life had either just happened or were happening in August, and it was just a tough month. Or, for last year, the first of several tough months.

I like to look back to those times and see where I have come from those. 

I have grown.

I am a different person.

I like to imagine that God has shaped me and is still shaping me from and through these experiences. Although they are painful at the time, they have led me to a deeper sense of God's presence, power, and love. And if I can see that, believe that, and feel that, I think that those experiences were for the best.

Also, since August is the month of starting school back for pretty much every school kid, I tend to muse about past school days. I feel like an eighty year old sometimes when I think back to my freshman year... it feels like it was so long ago, when in reality, it was only three years ago. But I like to imagine those late summer and early autumn days when I first started high school. It's especially funny and interesting this year, because I'm a senior. Looking at my freshman self and looking at myself now, in comparison, is quite amusing. And once again,

I like to look back to those times and see where I have come from those.

I have grown.

I am a different person.

Lastly, like I said, August is that time just before autumn when the cicadas start screaming their melodies in the oak tree behind our house. It's that time when you can just feel autumn coming. Although the weather doesn't seem to speak of its coming, I can just imagine the feeling of warm plaid shirts and sweaters, of my knee socks and blankets. I can imagine the cozy feeling of drinking apple cider out on the back porch, huddled up in a ball, sipping the spicy scent, wearing wool socks and a ridiculously large sweater, and watching the leaves change from green to yellow and fall to the ground. I love how the seasons reflect life. In nature there is a constant living and dying, and beginning of new things and ending of old ones. And it makes me think about our own lives. The fleeting senior year will soon turn to yellow leaves, and will fall slowly (or perhaps quickly depending on how much I procrastinate on graduation and college business) until every last hint of my life in high school is gone. Yet I'll still be there, ready to grow again in whatever lies ahead.
In August, I'll think about those things.

In August, I'll imagine the hearty taste of butternut squash filled with sausage and apples.

In August, I'll remember where I've come from and where God has brought me.

In August, I'll remember the feeling of warm socks and sweaters.

In August, I'll remember the scents I smell when I get pumpkins at Fresh Market.

In August, I'll remember the sight of the brightest blue sky.
In August, I'll prepare for the things that will one day be nostalgic remembrances.

In August, I'll remember skipping down the street singing Josh Bales and watching the leaves.

In August, I'll remember autumn. I'll remember change. I'll remember.

Past Augusts have brought a lot of things that have tried to bring me down. But this August, I'll remember how those things, in the end, brought me up.

"The first week of August hangs at the very top of 

summer,

the top of the live-long year, like the highest

Ferris wheel when it pauses in its turning.

The weeks that come before are only a climb from

balmy spring,

and those that follow a drop to the 

chill of autumn,

but the first week of August is motionless, and hot.

It is curiously silent, too, with blank white dawns

and glaring noons,

and sunsets smeared with too much color.

Often at night there is lightning,

but it quivers all alone."

-Natalie Babbitt 

The Blank Page

I sit in any room full with kids from the age of 14 to the age of 24. The auditorium is nearly silent except for the one person standing up at the front. Everyone's eyes are on that one person. All ears are listening (except a select few who got too little sleep the night before). The room is hushed. Then the speaker begins to talk. The blank page resting on three metal rings begins to be scribbled on furiously as the speaker gives the most important of information.
Suddenly all the kids are hearing information on ethics, worldview, ideas. Cosmic humanism, secular humanism, postmodernism, and many other worldviews are thrown at us. We wrestle with the idea of atheism, of abortion, and many other topics. The blank pages in the notebook are suddenly filled with ideas that had occurred to nearly no one in the room. Suddenly, all seems instantly clear.
Those blank pages become filled with why we believe what we believe.
Because ideas have consequences.
And if ideas have consequences, we better be well sure we know why we believe what we believe.
And as the hundreds of students sit in the large auditorium, we begin to hear these ideas explained.
This, my friends, is called The Summit.

Summertime Goodness

 And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees,

just as things grow in fast movies,

I had that familiar conviction that life was

beginning over again with the summer.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

It's full-fledged summer. In fact, you might almost say that summer is dieing off. I rather wish it would... despite my adoration of river-swimming, sun-bathing, and iced-chai-tea-latte-drinking habits, I can't help but desire my lovely autumn days in October.
However, I have enjoyed this summer a great deal more than past summers. Things have been delightfully laid back. I have enjoyed my Starbucks ice cream, loads of books, swimming, stormy afternoons, and even my schoolwork a great deal. Things have been a lovely shade of sepia with all the heat, but it's quite lovely. I love watching God's artistry throughout the year, and summer is quite beautiful.
I suppose this summer has been more beautiful than past summers, to me, because I have actually engaged myself in doing things that seem summerish. My first act was to go swimming with a few of my buddies and jump off of what seemed like a ridiculously tall tree into a ridiculously terrifying river (of which I have footage, but alas cannot find the cord to my old camera to upload it to my computer). I have gone to the river a couple more times, and honestly I can't say many other things in life make me more happy. Going to a river to swim seems like the epitome of summer activities. Besides, I'm doing it with my favorite people, so why shouldn't I be perfectly, splendidly happy?
I have also spent a great deal of time this summer being productive. In my past summers, I've been completely lazy and spent most of my time on the computer doing unproductive things. But I decided this summer that I would be at least slightly productive some of the time. I have rediscovered my love and adoration of reading. Honestly, the past year I haven't had time or desire to read. After Winston died last summer, I had a hard time taking interest in most things for a long time. When I did, I found myself slapped in the face with the realization that I had to begin studying for APs and the SAT. Really life? But I have begun to read again, and I have decided this is an activity I'm not apt to give up again any time soon.
I've also purposed myself to begin writing a great deal. I have been journaling more than I have in over a year, and have enjoyed it a great deal. I've also begun the rumblings of a story, but we'll see if that ever finishes itself. In any case, I have enjoyed writing a great deal. (and in fact, I would have written more on this blog had my laptop not given up the ghost, causing me to rely nearly solely on an iPad, on which it is nearly impossible to type)
Most of all, I have spent a great deal of time with my family and friends, which is more important to me than anything. Along with river swimming, I've gone to a frozen yogurt place with my mom several times, gotten chai tea lattes from Starbucks nearly every Sunday (and been greeted by the same awesome guy who asks me about Algebra 2 nearly every Sunday), watched fireworks with my friends, spent entire days tramping around in the woods and creek with my boyfriend while discussing deep and intellectual topics, talking about books and fashion with my best friends, talking with my soon-to-be-off-to-college brother until three in the morning, and other such pleasantries. I dearly love doing anything with my friends. And coming to the realization that four of my favorite people are soon to be off to college is indeed a daunting idea, and one that scares me and saddens me a great deal. My brother and cousin will soon be off two hours away doing their college-y things. Thus, watching She's the Man in my cousin's back yard at midnight with just a couple of sleeping bags or cutting up politically correct fruit salad with her is not exactly a strange or rare thing.
As you can see, summer to me means relaxing. It means enjoying God's beauty that He made for His glory to the full extent. It means laughing with my friends and watching my brother's face light up in a ridiculously luminescent way when he talks about The Dark Knight Rises. It means floating in tubes down a river and jumping off fifteen foot high trees into the murky water and mud below. It means pouring over a book while sitting on my bed, listening to the rain slapping and jumping off the leaves outside my window. It means playing on a playground and getting soaked with a hose while jumping on the blazing, colorful apparatus displayed out there. It means taping mustaches to my face with one of my best friends and taking stupid pictures that make us look like female versions of Poirot. It means sitting at my best friends' house with the power out, reading one liners from books in a circle and making everyone crack up.
It means summer.
Summer perfection.

Summertime Journaling

I love writing at any time of the year. Different seasons put me in different moods to write in different styles. Summer always puts me in a laid-back kind of feel, and my journaling strongly reflects that. As I was sitting up late one night a few days ago, I wrote this:

"It's 1:17 in the morning, and life is a virtual popsicle. Except filled with the most lovely feeling the heart can't describe. I'm sitting here listening to my favorite Alison Krauss songs, and it brings me back to being a little kid. It reminds me of riding in the back of Dad's black truck down a country road, or of driving through the Smokies at dusk. It brings me back to my five year old days. It makes me feel young. And sometimes it feels good to feel like a little kid again. Being reminded of being young makes me feel trusting. It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel like that country girl whose mind didn't wander very far past the oak tree in the back yard. The feeling I get is one I can't quite capture in words found in Webster's. It's an earthy, real feeling. It's beautiful, almost mysterious, in a very simple, understandable way. It makes my heart go crazy, while making my mind so peaceful that I feel like a mist hanging over pines in the mountains. I want so badly to capture this feeling in a song, but I can't write a song. I want to write poetry, a story, something. But not all things are intended for words."

I love summer.
I love watching fireworks while listening to Anberlin.
I love reading books on a stormy afternoon.
I love swimming at the river with my friends on a Saturday.
I love eating watermelon and strawberries.
I love going to coffee shops and frozen yogurt places with my mom.
I love eating green beans picked an hour beforehand from the garden.
But mostly I just love writing about how much I love these things in my journal.
Summertime is good.

Offering love where love is not due

Love.
It's a hard thing.
Obviously I'm not talking about romantic love, nor am I talking about loving friends. That isn't hard. That comes easily. But when we talk about that sort of love, we are talking about a feeling. And a feeling is not what I'm talking about.
Feelings aren't hard to express. They come naturally to us. Actions are harder, especially when they go against our feelings. If we're mad at someone, our natural reaction as humans with sinful natures is not to go up and hug them and start a lovely conversation with them. To be honest, when I'm mad at someone, the first natural reaction that comes to my mind is hitting the person right in the smacker. Though grace is working in me, the sinful nature still resides in my being, and in everyone else as well. We don't naturally offer love where it is not due. We don't naturally offer kindness to people who have hurt us. It goes against every part of our sinful nature.
However, as Christians, we are called to offer love where it seems like it is least deserved. This is a practice God has been trying to teach me. Recently, I've been reminded of things that people have done to me in the past and pain that they have caused to me. My natural reaction would be to hurt them back, but through reading the Bible, I have been reminded that that is not the way God would have me act towards these people. And although I could sit here all day and "remind" God of all the things people have done to me, and how it isn't fair, as Rich Mullins once amusingly stated, there is no point in fighting with God because He always wins.
God has called us to a higher standard than the world. We are to show love to those who have hurt us, just as Christ showed love to those who hurt Him. To me, Christ's most loving act on earth was not His healing, not His raising from the dead, not His reaching out to the poor and the forgotten, but when He was hanging on the cross, bleeding, almost dead, and He asked God to forgive those who were mocking Him and spitting on Him. That is truly a marvelous act of grace and love. Christ not only handled His death without biting back, but even asked God to show grace and forgiveness to those who had killed Him. Because Christ lived in such a way, we are called to do the same, as Peter says in 1 Peter 1:15, "But as He Who called you is holy, you also be holy in all conduct."
Why are we called to love? Because, as John states in 1 John 4:8, God is love. We cannot abide with someone Who is in and of Himself love. It's impossible. It's like trying to mix water and oil. Love and hate do not mix, and cannot mix. In fact, 1 John 4:20 puts it this bluntly, "If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." That's pretty intense. John is saying that we cannot love God if we don't love the people around us. That is because love and hate, like water and oil, don't mix. We are to love those around us just as Christ first loved us.
But how are we to love? 1 John 3:18 puts it this way, "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." Hm. Now that puts an interesting spin on things. I don't know about in other parts of the country or world, but here in the South, there is plenty of honey-covered words with lots of "bless their hearts" and "oh that poor dear" and "I just love that dear old soul." And although that's all fine and good, John is telling us here that we can't just say loving things. We have to do loving acts. As I said before, although love is typically defined as a feeling, in the Bible it is described as an action. If you turn to 1 Corinthians 13, the most commonly read chapter in the Bible about love, you don't see one word about feelings. Love is an action: it is being patient, kind, humble, calm, hopeful, and enduring. If someone hurts you, you will naturally feel a certain way. The Bible doesn't say to feel a certain way. But it does say to act a certain way. Acting against our natural sinful inclinations is strange to us, and looks weird to others. But God didn't call us to be normal, He called us to be holy. Thus, we are to act in such a way as to glorify Him. Loving others glorifies Him and shows others His love. We are to love others in deed.
I think one of the most amazing ways that the Bible describes love is in 1 Corinthians 13:8, which says, "Love never ends." Love never ends. It doesn't stop. We are to love others in deed, and not only that, but we are to love each other endlessly. That is where the world typically twists the definition of love the most. Our culture tells us that love often does end. That's why divorces are so common and why people fight and end friendships so much. It's because today's mindset is that love does end. That's because they believe love is a feeling. And if that were the case, then yes, love will wane, and sometimes completely end. We won't always have feelings of love toward our friends or spouse. Hard times will come and try to shake love. Feelings won't last. But since love is an action, it can last. When feelings wane and when hard times come, feelings won't carry us through. Feelings are fragile and go back and forth. Set actions, however, are not fragile, and they don't go back and forth. So when feelings fall apart, true love will carry through. True love never ends.

As I am reminded of these aspects of love, I remember that even when I don't feel like offering love to someone, and even when it appears that they don't deserve it, we are told to love those who hurt us. We are told to love our enemies, just as Christ loved those who hated Him. Through Christ, we have the ability to do so.
"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
-1 John 4:9-11

Beginning of summer

Summer has been treating me well the past four days.
It has included: Charles Dickens, Victor Hugo, Coldplay, The Civil Wars, clothes shopping, journal writing, knitting, book shopping (got me a book of John Keats poetry! life = made), Pinterest obsession, outfit making, popcorn, Powerade, Leave it to Beaver, Matt Bomer, sitting at home, good food, coffee, cheese danishes, train whistles, thunderstorms, and clicking fans. If the rest of summer is at least this awesome, I'll have it made.
Summer has some kind of a strange beauty to it. It's almost mysterious, but in a careless sort of way. Summer most definitely doesn't have the mystery that autumn has, but it has sort of a throw-it-to-the-wind feel about it, filled with acoustic guitars and thunder as percussion. It's truly a lovely time when I get to lean back and relax. Or at least until I realize I have Algebra 2 and Chemistry all summer. bluh.
I love the magic summer seems to hold. Staying up until one in the morning listening to the sound of the train and reading a bit of Dickens while hearing the fan click like one from the 50s would. Wearing shorts and doing cartwheels in the backyard. Swinging at a random park. Having lovely weather in the South for once, and wishing the whole summer would stay in the lovely 60s-80s range it has remained in the past few weeks. Seeing the first firefly. Each blast of wind, each crack of thunder, each small chirp of a cricket seems to hold some special, chill magic that only summer has. No other season has that beautiful feel of woods and fields and camping and crickets that summer has. I can't quite describe it, but somehow summer reminds me of those magical, hazy days of childhood that you only see in a 70s, summer-hue tinted view. It's truly beautiful, and it makes me want to lay under a pine tree hear the lap of waves from a lake slap the mud walls.
Although I do have those lovely views of childhood in my mind, memories of swings and sun-dappled pine trees and green grass, I am creating new 70s-hue summer memories in my mind. Memories of running down the street with my best friends, joking about dumping people in the lake, swimming at the pool, reading Dickens books with a cup of tea while rain spits at the window... these things are my new sun-dappled summer memories. Summer is magical. It's innocent. It's carefree and lovely. It's coral shorts and open-lace sweaters. It's Joshua Radin and Coldplay and Allen Levi. It's lemonade and picking tomatoes out of the garden. It's snapping pictures in the hot summer sun. It's eating ice cream on the back porch with my mom or getting an iced chai tea latte at Starbucks with her.
What can I say? It's summer. It's that lovely sun drenched, 70s, rounded corners photograph of a memory that I have in my head. It's perfect.

Graduation - The Times are Changing

This past Saturday was the day of our home school group's graduation. I've been looking forward to this day for weeks now, and I have gotten really excited as the time approached. Graduation brings about a feeling of nostalgia for the past, excitement for the future, and joy about being done with high school forevverrr. (heaven knows some of us get more excited about that than others) Even though I was not graduating this year and didn't experience as much as the people who were, it still instilled that feeling in me a little bit, and I began to ponder the implications of graduating, and my own personal experience of graduation that will occur next year.
This year I am proud to say that my brother graduated as salutatorian of the home school class, and my cousin, Macy, and one of my best friends, Drew, graduated as honor students. I was so excited for them, but at the same time I'm quite sad. My brother and my cousin are going to schools about two hours away from here. Drew will be staying here for another year at a community college, but he's planning on going to a great school about an hour or so away from here the next year. I'm going to be so lonely without these three, because besides a couple of other people, they are my core group of friends and I love them more than anyone in the world. I was excited for them, but at the same time I can't help but feel a bit sad about the thought of them leaving in a couple of months.

However, that being said, I was honestly surprised at my lack of sadness. Yes, I was sad, and I felt a bit nostalgic, but I was amazed that I didn't feel more so. I was honestly expecting to write this post today about how sad it was to see them graduate, how I cried, how I couldn't believe they would be leaving soon, how much I'd miss them, etc. etc. However, I find myself today thinking about something entirely different. Something I wasn't expecting to feel. Something I didn't see coming, until it slowly smacked me in the face (an oxymoron, but trust me, it makes sense): this is coming for me. Now I know that I've written a couple of posts on this recently, but I can't help but write another one. It seems lately that different things will just smack me upside the head and I suddenly realize that certain things will be reality for me soon. In my Father of the Bride post, I referenced how that movie suddenly made me think about leaving, about how soon I'd be leaving to go to college and then leaving my home permanently to get married. Those things are very strange to ponder indeed. But at graduation, things got even more real. Suddenly I realized there were things even closer than leaving for college and getting married. I suddenly realized that literally within a matter of two or three months, I will begin the process that my brother just ended. Spencer began his college searching process last fall, and it didn't end until a couple of months ago. Not only that, he has been working on finishing last minute work for school, studying for last APs and tests, etc. I've just seen him go through the whole process of finishing high school. And mine begins within a matter of about twelve weeks.
In some ways, I felt the premature rumblings of senioritis begin yesterday, as I saw nearly all of my best friends graduating. Suddenly realizing that I, too, was nearly there, made me want to jump ahead a year and be graduating as well. It's so crazy to think that within a year, I'll know where I'm going to college. I might have even graduated by this time next year. All my favorite things from high school will be over: mock trial, prom (and my senior prom at that), the Christmas dance, Chick-fil-a after youth group with my buddies, chorus, Toastmasters, and all the little things that make up my school life. And yet, at that point, I'll be doing little but looking forward to my future: college, majors, classes, new friends, orientation, professors, and all those lovely things. It's so strange... I'm starting to feel a nostalgia for things that haven't even happened yet, and yet I'm so ready for those things to be over with.
I know that senior year will fly by, but somehow all of it seems so far away. When I think about how fast my junior year has gone by, I know that senior year will go by even more quickly. But then when I think about the individual experiences that make up a school year, it seems like it will be so long until it's over. Funny how days and little experiences drag on in life and in your memories, but years fly by like a gale of a thunderstorm.
I can't begin to express how excited I have suddenly become for senior year. I have suddenly realized that it is actually beginning soon, and I suddenly realize that everything Spencer has just done is my life for the next year. Doing last credits. Taking last AP tests. Taking the SAT for the last time. Finalizing college decisions. Applying for scholarships. Waiting in hope of that letter that will say that you're accepted, over even better, that you have a scholarship in wait of you at the college you're dieing to attend. Those things are big deals. Those things will shape my future. And just thinking that those things are awaiting me in a matter of two months makes me want to scream and shout and ponder and think and completely weird out that I'm "old."

Graduation brought an onset of the weirdest emotions possible.
Excitement for things I can't wait for.
Terror of things that might happen.
Anticipation of the things yet to come.
Graduation is an exciting time.
I'm ready for mine now.

Summer Ambitions

That's right, summer. That inexpressibly beautiful time of year when everything seems as if it should be vintage. Lovely 70s-like pictures from the beach, retro Volkswagen vans, Wayfarers, and droll summer light dancing on the ground. Summer is also comprised of good books on rainy days when you read by the lamp light, stormy nights when the power goes out and you only have hurricane lamps and flash lights to see things with. Gardens with beans hanging drowsily from the stems and tomatoes smiling with their beautiful red faces.
Yes, summer is a lovely time. And for me, it's always been a lazy time. A time to relax and prepare for the next school year. However, this year, I have no choice but to be industrious. As much as I would love to spend my afternoons looking at retro pictures from the 60s on Pinterest or watching sweet summer flicks like The Last Song, I have no choice this summer but to spend my time well. And quite honestly, I'm glad. My senior year is approaching and I need to be used to having a strict schedule that I follow daily.
My main goal this summer is to spend my time preparing for what I'm planning on majoring in in college. If my plans stay the same, I will be double majoring in Art History and English and minoring in photography. Because of these plans, I want to make my summer revolve around art, literature, and photography. Although I do have other plans, I'm trying to prepare myself for what lies ahead. I'm trying to build my skills up so that I will be prepared for college when I leave.
So without further adieu, here is a list of things I want to do this summer:

1. Spend one day a week doing four to five hours of school and spend at least three other days out of the week doing one to two hours of school.
The reason I have to do this is I have to complete two more maths before I graduate (or I want to), and I can't do it all in one year. Also, I want to complete chemistry and possibly start on economics this summer so that I can take more dual enrolled classes next year at my local community college.
2. Develop a quiet time each morning.
I will admit, with quite a bit of shame, that I have been quite slack in spending time with God this school year. As many excuses as I could give, they're not good enough, as God should always be first in my life. I know I'll be in college soon, and I'll be solely responsible for my spiritual life. I want to focus on spending time with God this summer. Facebook and Pinterest can wait until later.
3. Spend at least one hour a day doing photography and art.
As I said, I want to focus on my art this summer. I have never been a natural artist - I don't draw well, I can't paint to save my life, and I can't imagine that I'd be terribly talented with pastels or charcoal, or really any other medium for that matter. But I believe I can develop those, and I'd at least like to try to, since I'll have to take at least one or two studio art classes in college and I don't want to humiliate myself. Besides, these are my passions, and I believe God has placed these loves in my heart for a reason.
4. Translate Latin two to four days a week.
I'm taking my last Latin class next year, which will be my fourth year in Latin. And not only will it be Latin, but it will be AP Latin. Yes, I'm taking an AP Latin class and taking the AP test for it. I'm insane. I know. But since I will be doing that, I want to keep the grammar and vocabulary fresh in my mind. In order to keep it all in mind, I will be translating Winnie the Pooh from Latin. Oh yeah. I'm just that freaking awesome.
5. Read at least one or two hours a day. Complete 20-40 books.
I have been terribly slack on my reading this past year, and I miss it. I absolutely adore reading, especially some good 'ol depressing books like Animal Farm, The Great Gatsby, Lord of the Flies, and such lovely books as those. *wink* Okay, so I do enjoy other books. I'm game for anything by Dickens, Austen, Montgomery, Alcott, Lowry, Bronte, Shakespeare, Lewis.... okay, so I'm game for a lot of books. I want to build up a great reading list to submit to any colleges that may want to see one. I'll be putting a list below my goals for this summer of books that I'm considering reading.
6. Learn at least one or two George Winston songs.
So... not many people know this yet, but I quit taking piano lessons. I haven't really enjoyed taking lessons for quite a while now. I don't like it that I have to practice. I'd rather decide when and what I want to play. Even though I quit taking lessons, I want to keep playing at least some, because I do enjoy playing the piano. I'm planning on learning a few songs this summer to add to my repertoire so that if someone begs me to play, I'll have something to play for them.

And those are my main goals for the summer! I have a few more that I may or may not do, depending on how much time I end up having after completing all of those things.

As for books that I want to read this summer, here is a list I have compiled. I may end up reading other books, these are just some ideas that I had:
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
The Christian Mind - Harry Blamires
The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck
What is Art? - Leo Tolstoy
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
Around the World in Eighty Days - Jules Verne
Walden - Henry David Thoreau
Tender is the Night - F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Red Pony - John Steinbeck
Freckles - Gene Stratton-Porter
State of the Arts - Gene Edward Veith
The Innocence and Wisdom of Father Brown - G.K. Chesterton
Orthodoxy - G.K. Chesterton
Mansfield Park - Jane Austen
The Purpose of Man - A.W. Tozer
Number the Stars - Lois Lowry
The Story Girl - L.M. Montgomery
The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall - Anne Bronte
The Law of Kindness - Mary Beeke
Eight Cousins - Louisa May Alcott
Dracula - Bram Stoker
Messenger - Lois Lowry
Bleak House - Charles Dickens
Miracles - C.S. Lewis
The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Foundling - Charlotte Bronte
The House of Seven Gables - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
A Farewell to Arms - Ernest Hemingway
The Last of the Mohicans - James Cooper
Our Town - Thornton Wilder
The Death of Ivan Ilych - Leo Tolstoy
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
Death of a Salesman - Arthur Miller
Cry, the Beloved Country - Alan Paton
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
1984 - George Orwell
The Pearl - John Steinbeck
Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Counterfeit Gods - Timothy Keller
Shadow of the Almighty - Elisabeth Elliot
Agnes Grey - Anne Bronte
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Victor Hugo

Obviously I will not be reading all of these books, but I thought it worth my while to write out a long list anyway. I'm still in the process of finishing a few books before the summer begins, and I have a little less than a week to do so. But we'll see how that goes.

Our home school graduation is on Saturday, and my brother, cousin, and one of my best friends are graduating! Can't believe it. I'll most likely be doing a post on that sometime next week, though you may not be able to expect it until sometime after Tuesday, as I have an AP to prep for. After that, it will be summer time, and you will most likely expect more from me.

Hope you all have lovely evenings! Cheerio!

City Places and High-Rise Spaces

I'll admit it wholeheartedly and without shame: I'm a city girl.

Despite my country girl tendencies to want to constantly have dirt under my finger nails from gardening, enjoying growing my own food, loving walking through fields and forests, loving hiking through miles of mountains, and wanting to live in a cottage in the middle of a pine forest, I have far more city tendencies than country tendencies.

I live in a lovely city, however it isn't the kind of city that I so much prefer. I love big cities. Flashing lights and skyscrapers, eclectic people groups and styles, museums and history on every corner; indeed, cities are my favorite and always will be.

I don't get to go to real big cities very often; perhaps two to four times a year. But I will spring at any chance I can possibly get to see the city skyline of some lovely place like Chicago. In April, I got the chance to go to a big city. The big city of the South: Atlanta. I go to Atlanta relatively frequently, but its almost never just to hang out and have fun. However, this time it was. My cousin, Macy, is a senior in high school this year and she wanted to have a senior trip. The destination: Atlanta.

Macy discovered a month or so ago that The Fox Theatre would soon be presenting Les Miserables, so she bought tickets for four, and we planned a trip up to Atlanta.

We arrived in Atlanta late in the afternoon on a day in late April, and went up to our hotel, which was right across the street from the Fox. Macy and I, admittedly, are not exactly used to acting upscale, high class, and rich. Trying to pull it off when walking in and seeing this was difficult:

As neat as I suppose it would be to be truly swanky, I don't think it would be nearly as much fun. When you're rich and often exposed to fancy architecture and cool big city adventures, I suppose things like this wouldn't take your breath away as much. You wouldn't take as much pleasure in it. So although I may want to act swanky, I don't think I ever would want to be that way.

We walked into the hotel, dressed up for our night at the Fox. I always greatly appreciate going into places like this, because I get to see those truly big city people. Somehow I think I've always had a fantasy about being the wife of a big-business, big-city guy and being that woman who walks around in her business skirt and black pumps in fancy hotels. And in this kind of hotel, you see those kinds of women. I've always loved how neat and professional they look, and imagined that I myself might be that schnazzy one day.

These nice, lovely men carried our bags upstairs for us (so nice to not have to drag my hundred pound bag stuffed with half of my belongings up 14 floors), and we got to look around our hotel room a bit before heading out to dinner.

{this was just the living room. we also had a kitchen, bathroom, and two bedrooms!}

After examining our room, we went downstairs to go find a restaurant. Once outside, we walked in a big circle only to come back around to the front of our hotel, when we saw an Italian restaurant diagonally across from our hotel, and decided to head in there since we had almost no time to eat before the show. Once we got in, we had to wait for a while, but once we got our seat, everything was super quick. Our waiter was a nice young man who was very professional and quick to make sure we got our meal and got out the door before the show started. I ordered the best salad I've ever had in my life. Most restaurants? Hello cheap iceberg salad. This restaurant? I got the fanciest salad made entirely of arugula with this awesome lemon dressing on top with cheese and some other fancy toppings. It was delish, and I have to admit, I felt pretty schmancy eating an arugula salad. 

After we finished eating, we walked up half a block at the most to the Fox theatre, and sat down probably 20 seconds after the show had started - we barely made it in time. It was absolutely excellent! Despite the fact that we were sitting in nearly the back of the theatre, it was a wonderful show. The singers were incredibly talented and the props and movement were wonderful. Eponine was definitely my favorite, tho  Jean Valjean can hardly be ignored. Everyone was absolutely wonderful!

However, after a three hour long show, I was quite ready to be headed back to the hotel, which thankfully was right across the street. We headed upstairs and Macy and I got some pictures outside on our three inch wide balcony that we could barely fit on.

The next morning Macy and I had planned on going up to the roof top pool and swimming for a while, but we had gotten to bed so late after the show we just slept late. After we got up we headed downstairs to a restaurant they have in the hotel, whose fruit, I might add, was delicious but ridiculously overpriced. Despite their overpriced fruit, everything was amazing; I had the most delicious french toast I've ever had in my life, and I even tried a raspberry for the first time. (and yes, I hated it. seriously, who eats those things?)

We sat outside for a bit and then we went up to the rooftop pool. It was quite lovely: there was a pool in the lower part, and then you could walk up a few stairs for a spectacular view of midtown Atlanta. We were quite close to the tallest building in Atlanta which excited me profusely. I do love skyscrapers quite a lot. Macy and I proceeded to take several pictures up there as well:

After our adventures up on the rooftop (and as Macy and I will both attest, there were indeed some adventures ;), we went back down to our room to pack up and head out. I must say I'll miss that hotel more than almost any hotel I've had the pleasure of staying in. Especially considering the fact that one of my favorite authors, F. Scott Fitzgerald, had stayed in it once. I do love old, swanky hotels.

After heading out of the hotel, we proceeded over to The World of Coke, where we tried a ridiculous amount of flavors of Coke products from around the world, most of which, I must add, were absolutely repulsive. I think I'll stick with my every day bottle of Coke.

We grabbed lunch (and got to watch a bunch of people learning how to ride a segway.... and as Macy so astutely put it, they looked like rolly pollies) and then went to Dillards to shop a bit. I found a really cute dress in the junior's dress department which I got for eighteen bucks. My thrifty mother has taught me well. I know a deal when I see one, and getting a dance dress for eighteen bucks is most *definitely* a deal.

After our outing at Dillards, we decided it was about time to head back. But before we did, we stopped at a Midtown Starbucks (um. can we say dream work place?) to grab a snack and some coffee. I got my usual iced chai tea latte, and my mom and I split our usual old fashioned doughnut. We sat outside and snagged a few more pictures before heading out:

 {I think at this point I was catching on to the whole swanky thing.

Don't you think?

really?

No?

okay...}

After our adventure to Starbucks and getting wind blown into our face, coffee, and food, we headed back out. We had had a lovely time, and I'm not sorry to admit that I pined away for at least fifteen minutes about wanting to live in a high rise apartment.

In fact, I determined after leaving that once I finish college, I'm going to live in a high rise apartment in Atlanta, get a cat and name it Cashmere, work in a Starbucks, and go to art museums all the time. Good? Good.

As strange as I might sound when I refer to Atlanta and any big city, it really can be explained. I lived the majority of my life in two ugly little towns. However, when I was seven or eight, a love for big cities and travel entered my brain, and ever since it has grown. Going to Chicago when I was eight didn't help anything. I remember that vacation as the best one I ever had. From a young age my love for travel has grown, and my love for travel includes big cities. 

Big cities have some kind of a hold on me. Like I said previously, although I do have some country girl tendencies, the big city has some sort of grasp on me. I can't explain what it is exactly. I've always loved different cultures, ideas, and fashion, so I know that that is part of it. But there seems some kind of mystery of a big city: how everything and everyone fits together in some ridiculous yet artful conglomeration. How history, art, culture, ideas, businesses, celebrities, average Joes, music, and life somehow mix into this great place where skyscrapers abound and there is never a moment when there isn't some movement of life. 

I suppose that is part of why I love a big city so much. Everything and everyone is always on the move. It's in a constant state of change. And although I don't like some change, I do love other kinds. The kinds you see in cities. New ideas, new faces, new opportunities springing up on every corner of the sidewalk. Inspiration galore. It's a lovely place for an aspiring writer, photographer, and art historian to be. 

A big city, to me, is a piece of art in and of itself. Art tends to revolve around a story, history, an idea, a person. A big city revolves around all of those things and then some. It's abounding with all of them, and coming up with new ones every day.

Big cities are lovely places. They will always have a hold on me. They will always catch my eye. They will always make me want to hold on to them a little bit longer, explore them a little bit more, and watch the movement pass by. Those movements pass every moment and if you don't catch them at that exact second, they'll be gone forever. Oh the moments of a big city: they're entrancing and beautiful. Elegant and mysterious. And if no one else misses them, I will. I'll wish I had seen them before they passed. I'll wish I had been there before they were gone. But I'll imagine them. Wish for them. And perhaps one day, I'll create some of those little moments that make up a big city. 

Every city is a living body.
{st. augustine} 

The Simple Woman's Daybook - A beginning

I used to have an old blog titled Madison's Musings.
Reading back on it now, it's rather amusing (and possibly extremely embarrassing) to see just how silly I was back then. Emoticons and exclamation points galore coming from an unbelievably hyper and ridiculous middler schooler.
However, one idea that I do adore that I used continuously on that blog was The Simple Woman's Daybook. Although I would not consider myself simple nor would I consider myself a woman yet, it is quite a lovely way to have a look back into the past of what I was doing at such and such a time.
I don't expect to do these very often, but I hope to do them periodically just for fun.

Outside my window...
sun pouring through the leaves reflecting green light through my window.

I am thinking...
about plans for tomorrow.

I am thankful...
for a God who is loyal to me and never leaves me.

I am wearing...
my favorite American Eagle jeans and a sky blue, navy, pink, and white plaid shirt. Its a stay at home day, so none of my usual fashion.


I am creating...
nothing really at the moment. However, I do hope when summer rolls around that I will have the chance to knit more and perhaps even improve my drawing skills.

I am going...
no where to my knowledge. Tho I would indeed love to go to Barnes & Noble right about now.

I am wondering...
why no one in life seems to have any sense of loyalty.

I am reading...
The Good Earth and Sketches of Young Gentlemen, Sketches of Couples (by Charles Dickens. terribly witty and accurate). I am reading Romans in the Bible right now.

I am hoping...
for something that I'm not telling you about. :)

I am looking forward to...
church service tomorrow and then coffee with my favorite people.

I am learning...
about chords in Geometry, emotions in psychology, and friends in real life.

Around the house...
things are quiet. Today has been a quiet Saturday.

I am pondering...
the essence of art.

A favorite quote for today...
"Character is higher than intellect." -Ralph Waldo Emerson


One of my favorite things...
Snow Patrol. [grin]

A few plans for the rest of the week:
This coming week is going to be a lot of hunkering down on psychology and math. I have a psychology AP next Monday so this week will consist of a lot of studying, I have the SAT this Saturday so I need to finish up some studying on math, and I have a Latin quiz and homework, plus I need to study for my Latin final next week. Lots of studying.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you:

Just a little peek into the post I'll be doing soon that I promised. ;)

I hope all of you are having lovely Saturdays! feel free to tell me about your Saturday
cheerio!

Why BEDA died & Upcoming Post

Yes. BEDA died. I have an excuse, promise!
So on the day of prom, I got up late, and I had to go get my hair done at 11. After that, my mind was consumed with thoughts of prom, and I entirely forgot about BEDA and VEDA. That is, until about 12:30 that night. Which meant it was already the next day. Now as for me, I'm the kind of person who doesn't just pick back up and keep going. Especially not on something like this. Since I had already completely failed blogging and vlogging every day in April, I figured there was no point in doing it every day minus one. That is why my posts suddenly stopped. Which I am very sorry for... next year maybe?
Although I did feel the need to stop blogging for a week or so, I will be picking back up soon. I won't be very consistent until about the end of May, though, because of APs, SAT, and other such horrid testing things I must do. I'll try to do some posts sporadically until then, and hopefully by the beginning of summer I'll have much more time to write.
As for an upcoming post, I am doing something rather exciting (at least for me) the next two days. I'm quite happy about it, but I won't tell any of you about what I'm doing. Just know it will involve lots of pictures (hopefully) and interesting tales to tell. I'll try to have that post up at the very latest by next Monday.
Cheerio!

Time to shine - BEDA #12

It's a day that nearly every high schooler looks forward. Most high schools only allow juniors and seniors, but I've been lucky enough to go the past two years, and this will be my third year as my junior prom. (there are perks to being home schooled you know)
The girls get excited and squeal and skip over their dresses and then nearly cry when they can't get their makeup right.
Indeed, it's a stressful and exciting event in one.
It's called prom.
Girls build it up to be some magical event that only happens once a year. And honestly, it is a sort of magical event. Prom gives girls the chance to be able to get dressed up and shine a little bit. As much as I swore I would never be that cheesy girl to say this, it's true: girls of any age like getting dressed up. I got my prom dress back in about September or October of last year, since I have such a hard time finding a modest, pretty dress, which style I like. And ever since I got it I've tried it on a million times. I dance around in it, put makeup on, put all my jewelry on... I can't stop trying it on.
I adore prom. Both of the proms I've gone to have been so fantastic: I had great groups both years, an awesome date, and we have always gone to nice restaurants. I've gotten ready with my cousin the past two years, and there is just something about getting ready with your girlfriends that makes everything so much better.
Actually going to prom is the biggest "party" of the year. And let me tell you, home schoolers know how to party. They know how to live it up. And my group most of all: we bring the party with us. We dance the most at prom, and in my opinion, we have the most fun. The actual event is so much fun: dancing, dim lights, fancy, old ballroom, seeing friends, more dancing, senior lead out... there is so much to it that makes it such a special night.
My prom is tomorrow night.
And I couldn't be more excited.
My group includes a lot of my best friends, and I'm getting ready with all of my best girlfriends. My boyfriend's brother is coming back from college and is taking my best friend. I'm going with my boyfriend, of course. We've planned the perfect night, and it should be amazing, especially since so many of my best friends are graduating this year, and it's the last time they'll go as high schoolers.
I can't wait until tomorrow.

Tho the past two years have been great

I have a feeling that tomorrow will be really awesome. Even better.
It's my junior prom.
And I'm ready to party!