Climbing the Summit

For the past two weeks, I've been at a marvelous summer camp called "The Summit." It's for all those nerdy, intelligent people out there who actually like to think (and care about thinking). It's a worldview camp where you sit through 7 hours of lectures per day (and no, it's actually not all that bad, as you'll be able to decipher from the pictures). You have plenty of free time as well. Oh, and guess what - there aren't any nerdy looking people there! Amazing, right?
In any case, instead of going through a boring narrative of what I did the past two weeks, I thought I would prefer to give you a list, and to show you. So here are the amazing things that I did in the past two weeks:

-Was surprised by my roommate from camp from last year, Megan, who decided to show up at Summit without even telling me, and then attacking me as I attempted to drag my luggage up to our room.
-Met a guy at camp who I met on the computer and I've been a good friend with for about three years, Jordan, and guess what! He wasn't a psycho! (okay, maybe a little.... more like a cynic, but whatever)
-Was told by a random guy while I was playing the piano down in the basement that I was the best sounding pianist out of the four or five that were playing around the basement, when I was actually just picking out a cover for "How He Loves."
-Had frizzy hair for three days straight
-Had the best small group ever
-Ate M&Ms, Cheez-Its, and Fudge Rounds with Megan past midnight
-Learned how to draw something besides a stick man and stars
-Had the most lame food fight ever. As in, throwing a potato covered in tomato sauce at Jordan. And just for the record, it was an awesome shot.
-Drank caffeine to stay awake for the first time in my life
-Saw both pain and joy at its core
-While riding in a bus, almost got killed by a 18 wheeler that had lost control of it's brakes, coming down a mountain. Thankfully, it passed our four school buses. Unfortunately, he went off of a drop off, and had a terrible wreck. But, again, thank God, he is alive.
-Ran in the rain
-Sung "Our Song" with a group of people in a bus
-Died laughing, cried, screamed, hurt, danced
-Had several difficult conversations
-Dreamed
-Failed at meeting my hero (Josh Bales - coolest indie singer eevverr), as he came up to me and asked me where the silverware was in the cafeteria, and I stared blankly, said I didn't know, and stood there silently until he walked away, and then hated myself because of it.
-Discussed James and the Giant Peach and Alice in Wonderland
-Wore a hoodie in the middle of summer
-Kissed a lion

-Prayed
-Sang my guts out to David Crowder

-Missed my bestest friend a heck of a lot

{and if you can't tell from this picture that she tagged me in on FB, she missed me too}

-Met someone who had the same dreams, talents, sense of humor, type of family, and mindset as I do
-Learned how to put my hair up in a bun
-Got approximately six hours of sleep a night
-Cried my guts out for an hour and a half over losing Winston
-Ate meat that was questionably either horse meat, dog meat, or spam painted with nail polish made to look like meat.
-Learned about abortion, cosmic humanism, homosexuality, Islam, how to ask questions, evil, how to read the Bible, law and government, economics, entertainment, postmodernism, feminism, marriage and family, evolution, how to be a leader, Marxism, and secular humanism, to name a few things, in two weeks.
-Screamed when a cicada was dropped on my leg
-Got to listen to Josh Bales lead worship every night for two weeks
-Watched a girl play an impressive piece on the piano in the talent show..... playing with her back on the piano bench, so she couldn't see the keys.

-Had the best small group leader ever

{i freakin love her}

-Bought eight books, two Josh Bales CDs, and a Summit T-shirt (and was given a Josh Bales T-shirt and Josh Bales CD from Megan for my birthday. best. birthday. present. ever.)
-Was deprived of nail polish for two weeks (I almost died)
-Was deprived of coffee for two weeks (They took me to the ER I was so bad off.....)
-Made my own Summit T-shirt for people to sign
-Didn't have an iPod for two weeks
-Sang "Hey Soul Sister" for a week with Megan
-Went to a local coffee shop and got a Snickers frapp
-Read Cat in the Hat at said local coffee shop
-Got dressed up....
-Only to proceed to do an "interpretive dance" to "Life is a Highway" and....
-Run through a huge field.
-Caught a cold
-Olive Oyl. Don't ask.

-Got chased around with the nastiest worm on the face of this green earth


-Got poked in the stomach more times than I can ever even begin to count
-Had my shoe stolen, and had to walk around a building in front of a ton of people with just one of my Converse.


-Looked pretty hot with Megan
-Spilled water down my shirt twice in one day
-Screamed, talked, and sang so much that I lost my voice
-Got lots of mail. Including a 9 page letter from my biffle. Which made me laugh incessantly.
-Got lots of awesome hugs
-Doodled on one page with three people
-Ate Lucky Charms for breakfast almost every day
-Got to talk to some of the wisest people I've ever met in my life
-Used eyeshadow just because I felt like it. Hah.
-Embraced my artsy side a lil
-Skipped wearing my retainers.... *sshhh*

-Got told I have an awesome boyfriend. Yeah. I knew that already.

{my new favorite picture of us. ever}

-Got a piggy back ride
-Listened to Weird Al. Party in the CIA and The Saga Begins. yesh.
-Finally got to meet my hero, Josh Bales, even after the embarrassing incident. He was awesome. And I wanted to scream and dance and run around. But I figured that would be kind of. Well. Yeah. That. Anyways, I was kinda super excited. I'm that cheesy fan who has all of his CDs and a T-shirt. Unfortunately not a gray T-shirt. Sorry. You don't get that because you aren't exposed to his awesome music.

-Made friends. Made stronger friendships I already had.

{my buddies from camp: Jordan, me, Daniel, Megan, and Spencer}

-And followed that super cliched, cheesy statement that you can find on pretty much any cross stitched pillow or picture frame.... I "lived, laughed, loved."

Hope you vaguely begin to grasp how incredible the past two weeks have been for me, and maybe even comprehend a tad why I'm so sad I had to leave.
And to show you even more, I'll be doing a YouTube video about it as soon as I get my voice back and no longer sound like Miley Cyrus.

And so goodbye Summit... I miss you. I miss the people I met there. I miss the millions of Winston Churchill and C.S. Lewis quotes I wrote down every day. I miss the deep thoughts. I miss the stupid jokes every morning. I miss the Smeagol/Gollum impressions. I miss screaming and singing with Megan. I miss it all. I wish you hadn't gone, but I'll always treasure these memories.

I'll always remember you from my favorite quotes from the speakers and the wise people who even they look up to....

"If a word is not worth fighting for, what on earth is?"
-G.K. Chesterton

"The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is."
-Winston Churchill

The comparison of these two quotes:
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the world. I hope you will join with me as we try to change it."
-Barack Obama
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
-John Wayne
(thanks for the infinite wisdom, John Wayne)

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but every virtue at the testing point."
-C.S. Lewis

"Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love of goodness or joy worth having."
-C.S. Lewis

"It does not matter what the verse means to you, it matters what the verse means!"
-John Stonestreet

"If you don't have an attention span, grow one."
-John Stonestreet

"The problem isn't that we love pleasure, the problem is that we're easily pleased."
-C.S. Lewis

"When people stop believing in God, the problem is not that they believe in nothing, but that they believe in everything."
-G.K. Chesterton

"Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."
-Charles Dickens

"The most dangerous ideas in society are not the ones being argued, but the ones being assumed."
-C.S. Lewis

"Father, Son and Holy Spirit, may Your kingdom come in all the earth as it is in heaven, may Your will be done. In all the world, in all our hearts, Jesus You are King. We wait, we hope, we trust, we know, Your face we soon shall see."
-Josh Bales, A Hymn For All the World

"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."
-C.S. Lewis

Miss you Summit.

(P.S. to those of you who are reading this: I will be posting a YouTube video soon all about Summit. Watch for it. Wait for it. Anticipate it.)

{out of these ashes}

So.
You'll all recall that a couple of posts ago, I was talking about how my dog, Winston, had been going through major health problems, but was going to be okay.
That all has changed.
Me and my brother are currently at a camp that is two weeks long. I've thoroughly enjoyed myself, laughed a lot, learned heaps and heaps, and just generally had a marvelous time.
Until Sunday afternoon.
My dad called me, and asked me what was up. I proceeded to tell him how me and several of my friends were just chilling out. I was curious as to why he was calling me at all, but I just sat there and talked. My dad's voice started shaking. And he told me the news: Winston was doing badly, still. Even after all the medication we were giving him, he was doing badly. He said there was a big possibility we would have to put him down.
On Monday they drained four pounds of fluid off of him. The vet told my mom there wasn't really anything else we could do. We had tried giving him medication for two or three weeks, but it hasn't helped him at all. He wasn't eating. He was starving to death. We had tried everything to get him to eat, but nothing was working. He proceeded to get worse and worse. My mom told me on Monday afternoon they would wait until Spencer and I got home from camp to put him down. I cried again.
Today, my dad called me. And I knew what he was going to say. He told me they were taking him to put him down. My mom texted me when I was in line for lunch, and told me the reason they had to do it was because he was so agitated, and he hadn't even been able to keep water down. Never in my life have I felt so physically and emotionally drained. It's so painful to know that I wasn't able to tell him goodbye. Or to give him one last kiss. By now, Winston has been put down and has been buried down at my aunt's and uncle's house. I cried in my dorm room for an hour and a half, which is a new record for me (as my typical length of crying would amount to about... two or three minutes... tops?).
As I sat in my room, I pondered all the things I would miss about Winston. And I couldn't stop myself from crying continually. Because he is literally, honestly gone. And that concept is so hard for my mind to wrap around; and it's not only so difficult, it's so painful. And I keep asking the question, "Why?" In things like this, it's so hard to see God's grace and mercy. I keep praying that He'll give me and my family peace and a strength to carry on. But all the same, the timing seems to be the worst. Spencer and I are at camp. My 16th birthday is coming up. School is starting soon. And you begin to wonder what God's plan is. I know He only does what is best, but sometimes it's so difficult to trust Him. But I will trust Him, even tho this time is completely darkened by Winston's death. I believe that beauty will rise from these ashes. I believe God has a purpose. I believe God knows what He is doing. I believe.

But all the things I'll miss about Winston.....
-The way he was always "smiling"
-Him barking every time someone came over
-Him hiding under my brother's bed when he was scared
-The way he wiggled his butt whenever we got home from something
-When he was "blinky" and looked so cuddly
-Whenever he licked me on the face
-His fluffy face that I adore waayyy too much
-When he would come up next to you when he was really tired and sleep right next to you

And before I start crying in the computer lab, I better stop.

I love you Winston. I'll never stop loving you. I miss you. Love you buddy. <3

Summer in My Corner of the World

Summer.
It's that beautiful time of year when lazy days of sleeping in until 10, watching Psych, dancing around your room to Parachute, reading How Green Was My Valley, playing Cranium with your best friends is all commonplace. It's wonderful.
Summer consists of everything joyful.

Summer is hanging out with your best friend.


Summer is listening to your favorite bands.

{coldplay}

{parachute}
{gahhh aren't they beautiful? yesh. yesh they are}

Summer is planning your sweet 16.

Summer is chillaxin with your boyfriend's little sister.


Summer is being totally freaked out with your best friend, driving home on back roads, positive you're being followed by ghosts or something equally terrifying. "She was standing there... wringing her hands and wailing!... but they never actually saw her."

Summer is laughing really hard.


Summer is driving by lazy, breezy fields at sunset.

Summer is sunshine.


Summer is getting a post card in the mail.

Summer is painting your nails unsummerish colors.



Summer is getting ready for summer camp.

Summer is imagining that fantasy hot air balloon ride.


Summer is talking to your best friend for five and a half hours straight.

Summer is reading books in the yard.



Summer is wearing converse with shorts.

Summer is gardening.


Summer is sitting at Sonic wishing you had enough money to buy a slushie. Too bad you bought that Starbucks iced mocha.

Summer is making YouTube videos.




Summer is sitting out on the back porch at night eating Starbucks ice cream.

Summer is smiling. A lot.

Crying for Joy

This is a first in my life.
Call me unemotional... it's what I am.
But I have never cried for joy until....
Now.

I'm sitting here typing with tears rolling down my cheeks trying to find some way to thank God for what He has done.
This past week has been the longest, and one of the hardest weeks of my life. If you've been reading my blog for even a month or two, you'll recall that about a month ago was our dog's - Winston - birthday. Just turned four years old. I can't even express how much I love that dog.
Call me obsessed.... it's what I am.
Anyway, on June 21st, a little over two weeks ago, tho it feels like two months ago, we took Winston in to be groomed. Winston had been acting kind of strange the past two months or so. He had become very quiet rather than being his rambunctious self, and he was barely eating, which was unbelievably strange for him. He has been obsessed with food pretty much ever since we got him. But even though he hadn't been eating, he looked fat.
Or, rather, he looked fat.
But he wasn't. We got him back from the groomer, and found that his whole back was completely emaciated. Nothing but bones. Yet his stomach was huge - it was bloated.
We took him to the vet that Friday, being so completely freaked out about his health. They drained two pounds of fluid off of him. Two. Whole. Pounds. Kind of freaked us out, but it explained for the bloat. We hoped he would get better.
Took him back in on Monday. And what happened? They drained two and a half more pounds of fluid off of him. The vet told suggested to us that we take him up to an emergency animal hospital... two hours away from here. I was freaking out. I knew this was big time. Not good. I cried a lot that day. And I never cry. I even went somewhere without nearly a scrap of makeup on, and that tells you something right there. We drove all the way up to this emergency hospital. They took Winston back. We saw a vet soon after we got there, who told us the possibilities of what Winston had. One of them being cancer, which appeared likely, and of course unfortunately something that couldn't be fixed. The vet told us how much the testing would cost, and it blew us away. The cost was unbelievable. My mom called my dad to ask what he wanted to do. He said no. We went back home... a long two hour drive back home.
On Tuesday of last week, my mom called our local vet to see if there was anything else we could do. She said there wasn't, since we didn't have any kind of a diagnosis. I cried more that day. Lots more.
Oh, and I must put in a side note to explain why this was so intense for us. Me and my brother are about to go to a two week long worldview summer camp in a few days, and we were afraid Winston would either have to be put down beforehand, which would lessen our experience, or that Winston would die while we were gone, again making it impossible to get anything out of camp. That just made it all the harder to handle.
Anyway, our local vet told my mom pretty much the only thing we could do is put him down. But that would be without knowing if we could have helped him or not. My mom called my dad once again, aannddd my dad changed his mind. We took Winston back up to the emergency hospital on Tuesday. Four hour round trip two days in a row will wear you out.

They did the last test on Winston on Thursday, and we picked him up Friday. From Friday on, it's been the longest four days ever. Winston, on Friday night, was completely out. He looked really bad, really sick, really close to dieing. I spent the night with my cousin Friday night, only to get a call from my mom on Saturday at 8 in the morning telling me to come home as quickly as I could. The insinuation being Winston was about to die. I threw all my stuff in a bag, didn't change, didn't put my contacts in, nothin. Got home, and Winston seemed okay, and I was wondering exactly what the rush was. About an hour later my dad called me back. Winston had almost stopped breathing. My dad was sure he wouldn't live until noon. And yet, he lived on. Lived through that whole day. Even ate a little bit.

{winston on the way back from the emergency hospital}

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were just long days. Long days of uncertainty. My dad was positive Winston had cancer, because he had watched his mom die of cancer, and Winston had all the same symptoms. I woke up several mornings feeling sick inside.
I've spent a good amount of time crying this past week. I've spent a lot more time praying and trusting God. I've even been frustrated with God. But nonetheless I've tried to trust Him with everything in me.
And maybe you're thinking right now I'm too obsessed with my dog. But let me tell you, he's like a child to me. And the fact that he is only four years old just made it seem so wrong.
I've cried. I've prayed. I've trusted. I've wrestled with reality. I've written in my journal. I've read my Bible to find the only source of comfort that I have.
The vet up at the emergency hospital called yesterday, telling us the results from the biopsy would be back today. And I was expecting the worse - some kind of cancer. I prayed all day yesterday, all day today. Praying that all of us would have the strength to take whatever God's will was. Neither of our dogs have ever just been "the dog" that sits around the house and exists. They're both absolutely bound into our lives, and they're like children to all of us. Losing either of them would be an extreme loss for our whole family. I knew we'd all need strength and peace from God to take the hardest news, and what seemed the most probable news.
The vet called about an hour ago. My heart rate hit the ceiling. My mom talked with her for a long time. I was afraid for the worst since they were talking so long. What was happening? Then I heard my mom talking with my brother. She was laughing.
Wait.
She was laughing?
Surely she wouldn't be laughing or at all happy if Winston weren't okay.
My mom came back to my room. I was still nervous.
My mom said they found no traces of cancer, no reason to believe he had cancer.
What he had was treatable.
As soon as my mom left I shut my door and tears started streaming down my face. I couldn't believe it. Winston is going to be okay. I'm still so shocked. I honestly thought it was God's will that Winston would die within the next month. But it sounds like he'll be with us several more years. And I cannot thank God enough for that. I can't believe it. I feel like I'm in some joyful dream.
I seriously hope I don't wake up.



{sorry for a super long, super melodramatic post. I felt the need of getting all these emotions out somewhere. I promise my next post won't be nearly so melodramatic}