Yep. It's that time. I've been a senior for a month now, and I have to say I've never had such an exhilarating experience in my life.
Which for me means sitting at home all day every day doing school.
Seriously you guys, I'm an introvert, get over it.
Okay, no really, senior year has been awesome so far. And although my life hasn't been super filled with awesome things, it's starting to get that way.
Chorus starting this Friday.
Mock trial starting on the 20th.
Plus all the parties, dances, and all that jazz happen late autumn through the winter. So it's going to be an exciting time.
Plus I'm planning on having my senior pictures done soon by the lovely Mary Helen. (you should go check her out. she's pretty fantastic) I'm pretty excited. I mean, we're talking senior pictures you guys. You only get these things done once. It's really my first real, legit "photo shoot" I've ever had done. So yeah. Excitement you guys.
But really, senior year is just pretty chill.
Sometimes.
Today, not so much. It was more like get up, study like heck for a Latin test, take hour long test, go babysit, go to Panera, come back and stress out about school, go hang out at Chick fil a with buddies, go back home, type.
Friday, it'll be like, get up, do school like crazy, write papers, do last minute English AP work, go to chorus, go to my buddy's house, do school there, sleepover with her and our buddies.
That may not sound like much, but when you have ideas for paintings running around in your head, applications piling up on your desk, and tons of White Collar to watch, I can assure you things get more stressful. (and yes, White Collar IS just as important as college applications. I mean seriously you guys. We're talking Neal Caffrey here.)
Honestly, I've found senior year to be a time of reflection more than anything else. It's interesting to look back on my freshman and sophomore year, and see how I've progressed since then. Honestly, in some ways, I'm just the same. I'm still that uncomfortable, fourteen year old who hides in the bathroom when she gets scared of everyone (it's just now, I can hide behind the trusty iPhone). I'm still the girl who makes everything look worse than it is (it's just now, I only complain to my best friends). I'm still the girl who can walk outside on a crisp fall morning, breathe in the air, and feel like she just breathed in joy. I may or may not still dance around my room to Taylor Swift on occasion. I may or may not scribble down angry, ineloquent words in my journal from time to time about stupid people and the stupid things they do all the time.
But really, I've changed in many ways too. I'm more comfortable with myself. I know my passions and I constantly plan ways in which I can build up my expertise in them. I know when to say no to things. Although I'm still absolutely terrified of people, I've learned to be more outgoing, and less like a female Mr. Darcy; too proud to say a word to other people, because he would "not take the time to practice." I've learned to speak up and shut up at the proper times. (well. most of the time.) I've learned that God is the only solid foundation there is. I've learned that liking things even when they're not cool is okay. And I'm still learning not to worry about what other people think about the way I dress, talk, and act. It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there.
High school, as it is for most people, has been a time of learning for me. And yeah, I am basically going into the whole "I know who I am now" kind of thing that seniors go into, but can I say I'm honestly excited? As a freshman and sophomore I was terrified of what other people thought about me. It wasn't until I became a junior that I started letting go of that. High school is definitely a period of learning who you are, and it's happened to me.
However, now I'm not really focusing on the fact that I've learned who I am. I'm more focused on what I want to do with who I am. I'm an artist and a writer at heart. And I want to do incredible works to the glory of God with those passions. And considering that, I better get into college. And considering that... well... the applications are on my desk...
And so that's what's in the mind of a high school senior right now.
