The Simple Woman's Daybook - A beginning

I used to have an old blog titled Madison's Musings.
Reading back on it now, it's rather amusing (and possibly extremely embarrassing) to see just how silly I was back then. Emoticons and exclamation points galore coming from an unbelievably hyper and ridiculous middler schooler.
However, one idea that I do adore that I used continuously on that blog was The Simple Woman's Daybook. Although I would not consider myself simple nor would I consider myself a woman yet, it is quite a lovely way to have a look back into the past of what I was doing at such and such a time.
I don't expect to do these very often, but I hope to do them periodically just for fun.

Outside my window...
sun pouring through the leaves reflecting green light through my window.

I am thinking...
about plans for tomorrow.

I am thankful...
for a God who is loyal to me and never leaves me.

I am wearing...
my favorite American Eagle jeans and a sky blue, navy, pink, and white plaid shirt. Its a stay at home day, so none of my usual fashion.


I am creating...
nothing really at the moment. However, I do hope when summer rolls around that I will have the chance to knit more and perhaps even improve my drawing skills.

I am going...
no where to my knowledge. Tho I would indeed love to go to Barnes & Noble right about now.

I am wondering...
why no one in life seems to have any sense of loyalty.

I am reading...
The Good Earth and Sketches of Young Gentlemen, Sketches of Couples (by Charles Dickens. terribly witty and accurate). I am reading Romans in the Bible right now.

I am hoping...
for something that I'm not telling you about. :)

I am looking forward to...
church service tomorrow and then coffee with my favorite people.

I am learning...
about chords in Geometry, emotions in psychology, and friends in real life.

Around the house...
things are quiet. Today has been a quiet Saturday.

I am pondering...
the essence of art.

A favorite quote for today...
"Character is higher than intellect." -Ralph Waldo Emerson


One of my favorite things...
Snow Patrol. [grin]

A few plans for the rest of the week:
This coming week is going to be a lot of hunkering down on psychology and math. I have a psychology AP next Monday so this week will consist of a lot of studying, I have the SAT this Saturday so I need to finish up some studying on math, and I have a Latin quiz and homework, plus I need to study for my Latin final next week. Lots of studying.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you:

Just a little peek into the post I'll be doing soon that I promised. ;)

I hope all of you are having lovely Saturdays! feel free to tell me about your Saturday
cheerio!

Why BEDA died & Upcoming Post

Yes. BEDA died. I have an excuse, promise!
So on the day of prom, I got up late, and I had to go get my hair done at 11. After that, my mind was consumed with thoughts of prom, and I entirely forgot about BEDA and VEDA. That is, until about 12:30 that night. Which meant it was already the next day. Now as for me, I'm the kind of person who doesn't just pick back up and keep going. Especially not on something like this. Since I had already completely failed blogging and vlogging every day in April, I figured there was no point in doing it every day minus one. That is why my posts suddenly stopped. Which I am very sorry for... next year maybe?
Although I did feel the need to stop blogging for a week or so, I will be picking back up soon. I won't be very consistent until about the end of May, though, because of APs, SAT, and other such horrid testing things I must do. I'll try to do some posts sporadically until then, and hopefully by the beginning of summer I'll have much more time to write.
As for an upcoming post, I am doing something rather exciting (at least for me) the next two days. I'm quite happy about it, but I won't tell any of you about what I'm doing. Just know it will involve lots of pictures (hopefully) and interesting tales to tell. I'll try to have that post up at the very latest by next Monday.
Cheerio!

Time to shine - BEDA #12

It's a day that nearly every high schooler looks forward. Most high schools only allow juniors and seniors, but I've been lucky enough to go the past two years, and this will be my third year as my junior prom. (there are perks to being home schooled you know)
The girls get excited and squeal and skip over their dresses and then nearly cry when they can't get their makeup right.
Indeed, it's a stressful and exciting event in one.
It's called prom.
Girls build it up to be some magical event that only happens once a year. And honestly, it is a sort of magical event. Prom gives girls the chance to be able to get dressed up and shine a little bit. As much as I swore I would never be that cheesy girl to say this, it's true: girls of any age like getting dressed up. I got my prom dress back in about September or October of last year, since I have such a hard time finding a modest, pretty dress, which style I like. And ever since I got it I've tried it on a million times. I dance around in it, put makeup on, put all my jewelry on... I can't stop trying it on.
I adore prom. Both of the proms I've gone to have been so fantastic: I had great groups both years, an awesome date, and we have always gone to nice restaurants. I've gotten ready with my cousin the past two years, and there is just something about getting ready with your girlfriends that makes everything so much better.
Actually going to prom is the biggest "party" of the year. And let me tell you, home schoolers know how to party. They know how to live it up. And my group most of all: we bring the party with us. We dance the most at prom, and in my opinion, we have the most fun. The actual event is so much fun: dancing, dim lights, fancy, old ballroom, seeing friends, more dancing, senior lead out... there is so much to it that makes it such a special night.
My prom is tomorrow night.
And I couldn't be more excited.
My group includes a lot of my best friends, and I'm getting ready with all of my best girlfriends. My boyfriend's brother is coming back from college and is taking my best friend. I'm going with my boyfriend, of course. We've planned the perfect night, and it should be amazing, especially since so many of my best friends are graduating this year, and it's the last time they'll go as high schoolers.
I can't wait until tomorrow.

Tho the past two years have been great

I have a feeling that tomorrow will be really awesome. Even better.
It's my junior prom.
And I'm ready to party!

Coffee Shops & Plaid Shirts - BEDA #11

a short story


I have a deep love for coffee shops. Especially local ones that hold truly the most intriguing people in the world. Local coffee shops have so much character. Mine is a lovely place with a deep soul and sense of classic. There is a lot of messy modern art, and the colors are a nice shade of hipster mixed with 70s. They play Jack Johnson and John Mayer. Occasionally a man with a banjo will come and play in a corner. I remember it was the first place I ever really encountered hipsters. I didn't even know what they were called, I just loved their type. They intrigued me. I loved watching them, and still enjoy watching them. Indeed, my coffee shop is just my favorite place in the world.
I went there with my cousin recently. She and I enjoy hanging out together at chill places like that and having ridiculous conversations that no one else would understand, they're so sprinkled with inside jokes. We went in, and as I walked in, I saw him. The second I saw him, I started imagining stories about him. I do that with interesting people. On occasion, and it isn't very common, I will see a person and immediately start coming up with stories about them in my head, because they seem like such interesting characters - different from most people you see in the world. Intriguing. Fascinating. Different. And suddenly my mind is captured. He was one of those humans.
My cousin and I went up to the front to order our drink and dessert, and then crawled off to the comfy chairs in the shop. We sat down and began noshing on our food, when I suddenly realized I was facing the young man who I had noticed when I walked in.
There was something different about him. He was sitting at a table with his Mac open, occasionally chuckling to himself. This immediately hinted to me how down to earth he was. You see almost no one at a coffee shop with their laptops open laughing to themselves. It reminded me of myself, and that, of course, intrigues me. He wore a blue and white plaid shirt, complete with khakis and boat shoes. He would run his hands through his hair, chuckle, rub his eyes, and go merrily about whatever was so apparently interesting to him. It was nearly a pattern. Hair, chuckle, eyes, laptop.
He got up and walked up to the front to order more coffee. That is the sign of a true coffee drinker: getting two large coffees in one sitting. As he was standing in the front, I was laughing at something my cousin said as I usually do, and I happened to look up at him. As I laughed casually at whatever she had said, he caught my eye, and he smiled at me.
Now I wouldn't call myself ugly or unattractive, but it's not very common such a down to earth, hipster guy will look at me with that deepness of smile. It was that smile that only guys can smile: the smile of intrigue and honesty that they only smile at girls. That smile alone is the best compliment a girl can ever receive. I chuckled and whispered to my cousin as he walked out of view for a moment what he had done. I was flattered that the deep eyes had just smiled at mine.
He came back and sat down, continuing his pattern of rubbing his hands through his hair and chuckling. I watched him occasionally just to see what he was doing. He interested me. There was something so alive about him that made me want to strike up a conversation with him. So few humans nowadays seem alive. They appear dead inside. They don't smile. They don't talk. They don't do anything. He had a sense of carelessness and yet soul in him that I rarely see, but love it when I do. Which is just why he struck me as a character to write about when I saw him.
Sometimes when I happened to glance at him, he would glance at me.
Then we'd both glance away.
Then he would chuckle at his Mac and I would chuckle with my cousin.
And we'd go on about whatever we were doing.
Repeat.
I continued watching the man in the plaid shirt. And I kept wondering what he was like. Who his friends were. What he was laughing at. He just continued to sit there.
Run hands through hair.
Chuckle.
Rub eyes.
Repeat.
I continued talking with my cousin about life - college work, annotated bibliographies, prom, turning school work in late, YouTube. Until finally it was late and we had school work to do, both of us, and we gathered all of our things together to leave. I looked at the man in the plaid shirt. The 20-something plaid-clad young man didn't look up at me. I didn't care. Much. Tho I wanted one last look at his eyes - his sincere, careless, honest, down to earth eyes. His eyes alone would give me a story to write about.
I walked out the door, and I wondered - would the seemingly shy yet sanguine eyes look up when he thought I wasn't looking back?
I looked back.
And sure enough, I was right. His deep eyes looked up at me, and in him I saw that deepness of soul again. Rarely do I see those kinds of eyes. Rarely will I see them again. A lop-sided grin crossed his face.
Those eyes are inspiring of a story.
I think I'll be going back to that coffee shop soon.
Mostly to get coffee.
But maybe the deep soul filled eyes will be there again.
And the story can continue.

My Life in Song Lyrics - BEDA #10

I have always loved relating song lyrics to life. And since I know that it would be obnoxious to post lyrics that apply to my life on Facebook every hour (trust me, I could), I am compiling a list on here to give a weaving of my life lately.


You give me hope, and hope it gives me life. You touch my heavy heart, and when You do You make it light. As I exhale I hear Your voice and I answer You, though I hardly make a noise. And from my lips the words I choose to say seem pathetic, but it's a fallen man's praise. Because I love You.
{relient k, when i go down}

You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of dust. You make me new, You are making me new.
{gungor, beautiful things}

I swear I'm trying to give everything but I feel like I'm falling, oh make me believe what I need is resurrection, what I need is for You to put back on my feet.
{david crowder band, let me feel you shine}

Well I tried to be apart from You, away from You my first love. And I lost my way without You close, without You near to me. All the universe without Your name is so alone, my God. And so I run into Your arms, for You are love.
{paul colman trio, into your arms}


The lyrics to this song and the skit. (this is the skit I told y'all about back in January that I did with my youth group about a month ago)

The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children, playing soldiers just pretending, dreaming dreams with happy endings. In back yards winning battles with our wooden swords, but now we've stepped into a cruel world where everyone stands and keeps score. Keep your eyes open.
{taylor swift, eyes open}

You can hear voices loud and sing out a song that nobody knows, but to her it sounds like home. But the nights can't hide the days that the tears roll down her face and the light hits those eyes, as she's dying to say just take me away.
{parachute, all that i am}

I get up in the evening and I ain't got nothing to say, I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way. I ain't nothing but tired, man, I'm just tired and bored with myself. Hey there baby, I could use just a little help.
{bruce springsteen, dancing in the dark}

They are turning my head out to see what I'm all about, keeping my head down to see what it feels like now. But I have no doubt one day we are gonna get out.
{coldplay, lovers in japan}

What you don't have you don't need it now, what you don't know you can feel it somehow, what you don't have you don't need it now, don't need it now, it was a beautiful day.
{u2, beautiful day}

Forged in the fires of human passion, choking on the fumes of selfish rage, and with these our hells and our heavens so few inches apart, we must be awfully small and not as strong as we think we are.
{rich mullins, we are not as strong as we think we are}

Even when it's dark before the dawn I will feel your grace and carry on, and with every breath of me, you'll be the only light I see.
{boyce avenue, every breath}

I remember when we used to laugh about nothing at all, it was better than going mad from trying to solve all the problems we're going through, forget them all, cause on those nights we would stand and never fall, together we faced it all.
{skillet, those nights}

Lay down your armor, put down your sword, there's no one here to protect yourself from anymore. Scale back your defenses, set down your shield, I'm not here to harm you, I'm here to heal. Why are you so stubborn? Why are you so closed? I'm so afraid you'll stay this way and quarantine your soul. Oh please stay open, oh please believe, there's nothing wrong with you that's not wrong with me.
{josh bales, quarantine}

The night was young and so were we, talked about life, God, death, and your family, didn't want any promises, just my undivided honesty, and you said oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better, and oh oh, things are gonna change.
It's not that I hang on every word, I hang myself on what you repeat. It's not that I keep hanging on, I'm never letting go.
{anberlin, dismantle.repair.}

I don't quite know how to say how I feel, those three words are said too much, they're not enough. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told, before we get too old, show me a garden that's bursting into life. Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads. I need your grace to remind me to find my own.
{snow patrol, chasing cars}

And I can't always be part of you and you can't always be there for me and I can't always be where you are. But if you could look past everything and realize that you are the one for me and nothing can break us down then you would rescue me for me.
{the incredible sandwich, where you are}

 I wanna break every clock, the hands of time could never move again. We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
{anberlin, inevitable}

Yellow and Brown - BEDA #9

Day number 9! And still going strong. Sort of. Except for posting right before midnight the past two nights. But hey, it counted, right?
Recently I've been a little bit obsessed with the color yellow, due to my cousin Macy being really super obsessed with the color scheme of yellow and gray. As much as I love the color scheme yellow and gray, I won't be that really annoying younger cousin and copy everything she does, so my new favorite color scheme is yellow and brown.
Of course, since Pinterest exists, I can look up all the yellow and brown things I want to. Recently I've found so many beautiful ideas of using yellow and brown. These are a few of my favorites:

One of my favorite outfits ever!

Another one of my favorite outfits ever.

The tights and shoes just make this

I want my wedding to look exactly like this

This laundry room is the coolest laundry room I've

ever seen!

 In my opinion, all guys should dress like this ^_^

I absolutely love the color scheme yellow and brown! It's so casual, modern, and hip. Love <3
What's your favorite color scheme?

This is the power of Christ in me - BEDA #8

Luke 24:3-7
But when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel. And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.”

Christ is alive.
And because He is alive, we are alive in Him.
That is the power of Christ in me.

 

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

'Til He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand 

Sunday is Coming - BEDA #7

Friday seemed like the end.
Friday seemed like the destruction of hope.

But Friday was a beginning.
A promise.
The New Covenant.
We are now able to be alive in Christ.
We didn't have to pay the price.
He payed the price.
On Friday.
And Sunday is coming.

Father of the Bride & Leaving - BEDA #6

This movie has been one of my favorites for years. And over the years it has been one of my favorites for different reasons. When I was younger, I loved this movie so much because it made me laugh incessantly and was so true to life. It was a sweet story and the acting was good. I really liked it for those reasons.
But now it's for an entirely different reason. It's because I actually am starting to understand the feelings that are shown in the movie. I understand the pain of the prospect of leaving, but the excitement of a new life.

My favorite movie is Father of the Bride.




I watched this movie just last night. But this time with new eyes. Of course I've recently begun to relate to it more and more as I've gotten older, but last night, as I watched it by myself without the company of others and without feeling weird to reacting to it naturally, I suddenly found myself wanting to cry in so many parts. I realized that I understood how Annie feels as she describes to George that she does want to marry Brian, but she doesn't want to leave home. How she is trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she's leaving.

Although I'm not engaged nor am I even with a year or two of getting married, I somehow comprehended a little bit how she is supposed to feel. I felt a nervousness and excitement in the pit of my stomach and tears started welling up in my eyes as the scene changed to the wedding scene above. I have realized recently that I am getting older. I will be a senior this fall. I'll be in college next year. I expect to finish college early and I hope and pray I get married soon after. And thinking about all of these adventures I'm about to embark on suddenly sets me on edge. It makes me so excited and yet so nervous.

I love my family and I love my home. But I know soon it will be time for me to go to college. To get married. To form my own family. And when I consider these prospects, I start freaking out. At the age of eight, I obviously considered these ideas: oh yeah, I'll go to college one day. Oh yeah, I'll get married one day. Oh yeah, I'll have kids one day. But suddenly, eight years later, I realize these things aren't just fairy tales that live off in the distant land called the future. Suddenly I realize these things are reality. They're coming soon. I hope to be done with college and married within the next five or six years. Five years ago, I was nearly twelve. And twelve seems but just a couple of seconds ago. Which means in just a couple of seconds I'll be out on my own. And that scares me a little.

However, as much as I say I'm scared, I can't forget that feeling of excitement I get in my soul whenever I think about these things. They're scary, sure, but they're exciting as well. They're new promises. They're a new life. Soon I'll be out in the real world. I'll have to deal with the things that my parents have taken care of without me noticing for the past 16 years of my life. Life will be... well... life. But it will be different.

Obviously, I've considered college and marriage. But when I actually think about them, in a realistic sense, like "This is actually going to happen to me," that's when I really start getting excited and nervous. Like I said, at the age of eight, these things were in far of lands. They seemed like they would never reach me. And I was content playing video games and Legos with my brother, writing in my journal about the great injustices that came along with being eight and the huge crushes I had on guys, reading Anne of Green Gables and wishing I was her, scrapbooking and rubber stamping and doing anything and everything my mom did because she automatically made it cool, daydreaming about these things in the back of my mind, never really considering their reality in life. But now I see that they are real. And they really will happen to me. They're not just going to happen to my friends and acquaintances. They're going to happen to me. They'll really happen. And they're not just in movies that I've always loved so much. Like Father of the Bride.

And I guess that is what brings me back to why I love Father of the Bride so much. It is so true to life. Okay, so maybe the superfluous buns and jail part is a little over the top, but in general. -wink- But it really captures the feelings that we as humans have in these huge life experiences. It doesn't over-dramatize the feelings and experiences. It offers true to life stuff. The good and bad. The stress. But the eventual happiness. And I like that. I like that it gives off such an honest feel.
Leaving is part of life.
Leaving is painful.
But leaving also offers good things in exchange.
And despite the nervousness the idea of all of these things bring to me,
it brings me excitement for the promise of good things too.
And I like that.

For Your Daily Smile - BEDA #5

This is my current favorite music video. It makes me giggle with happiness every time I watch it. It's so creative and adorable. Tessa (the girl) reminds me so much of myself in this video.
This song is adorable and happy and the video is absolutely presh.

Tomorrow I'm going to be talking about my favorite movie and why it means so much to me, so be looking out for that.

Goodnight and see all of you tomorrow!

Thank You Notes - BEDA #4

Today I shall be jumping into an idea that I've seen before on blogs and YouTube. It's an amusing way to be ironic, sarcastic, and sardonic in a delightfully witty way. Of course I will be none of those since I'm not witty. However, I do feel like writing thank you notes to some things, so here we go.
And we shall just jump right in:


Dear zits,
Thank you for not appearing on my face at any of my dances in the past, and I'll go ahead and thank you ahead of time for not appearing on my face at my junior prom. Because you won't, right?


Dear mosquitoes,
Thank you for giving me the delight of smashing your guts on my arm. Any success of me destroying your clan brings me great pleasure.


Dear Hunger Games,
Thank you for drawing me in to your mesmerizing story and then leaving me depressed for the next week.


Dear Anne Frank,
Thank you for easily being the most obnoxious, bratty, and inspiring teenager to ever have lived.


Dear Nicholas Sparks,
Thank you for writing such touching stories. Now stop killing people off. I'm starting to get a little creeped out.


Dear Chicago,
Thank you for being the most beautiful city on the face of the earth. And thank you in advance for sending me a plane ticket to get up there so I can start working at the Chicago Museum of Art.


Dear clock in car,
Thank you for always being at least five minutes fast so I feel less late when I get to an event because I can simply say, "Oh, well that clock is five minutes fast."


Dear slouchy beanies,
Thank you for making me look more hipster than I actually am.


Dear hot air balloons,
Thank you for existing. You make my life ten times more happy because of your existence.


And those are all my thank you letters for today. Perhaps I'll do more this month if my creativity level snaps at some point.

Of Pinterest Fashion - BEDA #3

I got a Pinterest account about a month or two ago. I've been obsessively (though hopefully not to the annoyance of other pinners) pinning ideas. Food ideas, fashion ideas, inspirational ideas, hair ideas, traveling ideas... for a crafty girl (who fails at crafts) like me, it's heaven on earth.
I won't be going through all of my pinterest pins today, just a specific board: my fashion board. Honestly, I'm rather obsessed with fashion. And you can't blame me much, considering my fashion taste used to look like a combination of an awkward middle schooler and a fashionable 50 year old woman. Since then, thankfully, my mind has been able to grasp the concept of "fashion" and I've moved on to have quite a good taste in clothes. The only unfortunate thing is, is it's nearly impossible to find such fashion when you have any kind of a budget on clothes. $5 for a shirt? Heresy! Okay, so I'm not that bad, but I do try to shop relatively cheap by going to Goodwill for most of my clothes, and otherwise, shopping sales.
And look at me, I've gone off on a rabbit trail as usual. My point is, I adore fashion, and have been pinning away. So here are some of my fashion ideas on Pinterest:

I'm loving these skinnies & shoes. 

I want to be a librarian and dress like this everyday. Ohmygosh so cute. <3

Love the plaid shirt and hat

If any picture could describe what I wished my wardrobe looked like

this would be it. 

Definitely one of my favorite outfits ever. Love the color scheme. Perfect for autumn

Adorable outfit. so summer/chic

Knee socks, ftw!

And that, my dear friends, is just a little taste of my favorite fashion-y things. I really like a mix of hipster/hippie/casual/chic, and really have a thing for knee socks, leggings/tights, booties, and cardigans. Ah, lovely things they are.

So, three days in and I haven't missed one yet! So proud of myself. Only 27 more days to go.

By the way, for anyone who is interested, here are my videos for the first two days of VEDA:



I love how I just did a post on fashion and then ironically post a video with the worst clothes known to man in it.... you know, turtlenecks and purple dresses with red hats on them are just really my thing. lol


Wow... sometimes I amuse myself with my insanity. I don't think I realized just how tired I was when I was making this video.

So long until tomorrow everyone!

Where You Went - BEDA #2

a short story


   Nearly the moment after I met Bonnie I knew we would be good friends. Her brown curls and deep set, blue eyes assured me of our friendship, and when she warmly took my hand for the first time, I knew that she could be trusted. I loved Bonnie very much. We grew to be such good friends, and her sentimental soul was always there to listen to whatever hurt I might be going through, and to laugh about whatever crazy thing we might come up with doing. Bonnie seemed such a sweet girl when I knew her. She promised me and so many other people to always be there for us. To always love. To always care.
   I looked up to Bonnie more than almost anyone else, and desired her affection and friendship more than nearly anyone else's. She was sweet and perfect. No one had her caring soul and affectionate nature, and no one would listen so well and be so kind and caring. I considered her to be one of my best friends. I trusted her. In fact, I loved her friendship so much, I was jealous for it. If I thought any other girl was better friends with her, I immediately turned on them and couldn't stand the sight of them.
   I have never really pinned down what it was about Bonnie that made me adore her so much. Perhaps it was just the fact that she was one of the only people in the world who sincerely seemed to care about me. Maybe it was because she was so perfect, and having one of those perfect, blond-headed girls as such a good friend made me want to keep her for forever. Or perhaps it was the fact that so many people desired her friendship, but I was one of the few girls to whom she gave it. Or maybe it was the fact that she needed me. Bonnie, despite her over-arching nature of caring about others was an incredibly insecure person, and I felt like perhaps I provided her with a security she didn't have. It's possible that it was another reason entirely that I loved her so much, but either way, she had my friendship, and I didn't want to let go of it.
   Bonnie and I did so much together, and had a grand time doing whatever we felt like. Her perfection made me feel more perfect myself. She was always so encouraging and complimentary of everything I ever did. She complimented my looks, my clothes, my so-called talents, nearly everything. She was so kind and made me feel like perhaps I was better at certain things than I actually was. We became tight, and would share deep secrets with each other that we were too afraid to tell to others. She confided in me about things of the most secretive nature. I was excited that she would trust me with so much.
   But then it happened. Bonnie went away from my life. Slowly, transparently, in an almost unnoticeable fashion, and yet quickly, harshly, without warning or apology. It felt like a ghost had quietly crept into my room and cursed me. She left my life. Bonnie, that dear girl who I trusted so much, who I loved so faithfully, who I nearly idolized. She left me. And why? What did I ever do to hurt her? What did I ever do to make myself unworthy of her friendship? I remember the day that Bonnie really left my life. It was the day she lied to me. We had grown apart, but my love and adoration for her had not left me. I still loved her and wanted to be close friends with her. But she did something to hurt me and others close to me. And then she told me a lie. It was the day she told me how she considered me one of her closest friends. It was the day that she told me she wanted to become better friends with me. I held on to the small hope left in my heart that maybe she did want to be friends with me. Maybe things could be like they had been. Maybe things would be better.
   She lied that day. Every time I saw her afterward, she treated me with the same friendly indifference she did nearly everyone else. It was then I saw her true colors. Bonnie was a hurtful, rude, and arrogant person. The worst part is she was too naive to perceive it. She didn't know and still doesn't that she is rude to nearly everyone, because she is not self-conscious enough to know it. If she did know how rude and hurtful she was, her soul would be crushed. And yet she goes on living the same way, smiling at people and complimenting them, but never treating them with any loyalty. Bonnie has her favorites and always will. She will act like she loves and adores them, and then in her flighty way go off and hurt them. Just as she did me.
   I don't know where she went the day she lied to me. I honestly believe she didn't even intend to lie to me. But she hurt me, nonetheless. Like a ghost, she flew out of my life, leaving an indelible mark on it: distrust. Wherever she went, she took more of my trust of people with her. I see Bonnie often. I see her smile and laugh with others as she did with me once. And every now and then, Bonnie will look at me and smile that same warm smile she used to every time I saw her. Bonnie will compliment me sometimes. Bonnie will tell me she thinks I'm clever and talented sometimes. Bonnie will tell me I'm pretty sometimes. But no matter what Bonnie says, she can't return the trust I had for her. She never could be able to return the trust I once had, even if she tried. Once my trust is taken, it can't be returned. It won't be returned. Where did you go Bonnie? And where did you take my trust?

DIY Glitter Pumps - BEDA #1

So for my first day of BEDA I'm writing really late. *oops*
However, I am writing, and I've been busy a lot of the day preparing for this post.
I've seen this idea all over the internet: making your own shoes. Obviously you have to have the actual shoe first, but if you find an ugly, old shoe, you can revamp it into something really amazing.
For the past several months, I've been wanting gold glitter pumps. They're adorable and would have gone with my last dress and they'll go with my prom dress this year. Unfortunately, the only ones that I could find that weren't 5 inches tall were these from DSW.
Unfortunately, those were $40, and I didn't feel like buying a pair of shoes for that much money. So I decided to go with the next best thing (or the best thing, depending on how you look at it): making my own. Like I said, I've seen multiple tutorials for making glitter flats, pumps, etc. So today I decided to make my own glitter pumps.
Yesterday I went to Goodwill in an attempt to find some summer clothes, and also in a final attempt to find some cheap pumps which I could fix up for prom. Prom is less than two weeks away for me, so I kind of needed to decide what shoes I was wearing. And heaven forbid I wear my awful silver shoes that don't fit. I went searching through the shoe department at Goodwill, and what did I find but these gems:

 Yes, I realize that old, black pumps are not exactly the coolest things ever, but they were perfect for me. The heels weren't too high and they actually fit, which were my only two qualifications. They are a little bit pointy toed, which looks more business, but I dressed them up quite a bit as you'll see.

For these shoes, I only used four things:
1. Glitter (gold, of course)
2. Modge Podge
3. A foam brush
4. A bowl to hold the contents

I already had the Modge Podge, but if I recall correctly it's only about $4.50 or so. The glitter was around $2.50, I already had the foam brush and bowl, and the shoes, if I recall, were only $4.99 or so. So with the new contents that I had to buy, I only spent about $7.50. If you went and bought all of these at once, you might spend $10 or $12 on them.

Once I had all of my "ingredients," I mixed the glitter and Modge Podge into the bowl like so:

and began painting. (I would recommend using a lot more Modge Podge and glitter, but this was my first mixing of the two, so I wasn't quite sure how much to use)

When you first paint it on, it looks a little like this:

My first coat looked something like this:

After letting it dry for about 15 or 20 minutes (I wasn't that patient...), go on to your next coat.

I realized by about this coat it was going to take forever if I actually painted on every coat. What I started doing is painting the Modge Podge/glitter mix onto the shoe, and then I would pour glitter all over the shoe. That way it got fully covered. You have to be willing to get a little messy. Some spots, especially with these pumps, were hard to get a good coat on, so I would have to use my finger to apply the glue and the paint.

Continue painting your shoe until you fell like you have enough coats. If I remember correctly I used about four coats, but depending on the shoe and how much glitter you use in each coat, you may need more or less coats.

So the finished product looks a little something like this:

I'm just a little bit proud. :]
So now I can brag to all my friends at prom that I made my own shoes. 'Cause I'm just that good.

I didn't use a finishing glaze, which I have seen recommended on a lot of these DIY glitter shoes, and it would probably be a wise idea since I'm shedding glitter everywhere I go when I walk in these. But if you don't mind spreading happiness, feel free to not use it.

So that is how to make your own glitter pumps! Let's see how many girls at prom think I bought them for $60.