The lady you're supposed to babysit for cancels (and you seriously needed $25)
Some of your best friends avoid you or treat you like you're weird
You drop a cupcake in front of your youth group... icing down, of course
You lose a $15 ticket to a dinner theater presentation
You snap at your friends even when you don't mean it..... or... sometimes you do mean it but you shoulda kept your mouth gorilla glued shut
You spill your chai tea latte in Starbucks
You eat too much instead of losing weight right before prom
You feel slightly depressed and blaahhh in and out throughout the day
You memorize an extra page in your piano piece and your teacher doesn't even notice
It rains incessantly without stopping once the whole week
You look over at the clock for one last hope... and it's 11:12
Yeah. Those are the weeks. It's just one of those weeks when people don't really seem to care, and everything goes wrong. You get mad at everything. And seriously, rain and clouds don't help with the mood. This week hasn't been the best I've had as of late. It's not that anything really bad has happened, and it's not that really that many things have gone wrong.... and yet all of the little things have been bad, which just tends to get you down. But really I feel like it's during these weeks when I have to rely on God the most. It's not relying on myself, or my friends boosting me up, or anything like that. It's all God. It's so neat, because tonight in my small group at church, we went completely off the curriculum and just studied some verses in the Bible, when God is talking, and He says, "I am" or "My name is". And we came up with lots and lots of awesome verses. But I feel like one that really applies to me is Proverbs 18:10, which is ironically the verse that I read aloud. It says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." We discussed what a strong tower is. We discussed how we find safety there. When we feel most vulnerable, when we feel most weak, when we feel like we just can't even stand up, we can run into our strong tower, where safety and strength is found, and where we can be renewed. Also, while we were sitting in small group, I came across Psalm 55:22. The first part of the verse says, "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you." And while just flipping through my Bible tonight, I stumbled upon Psalm 43:5: "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God." We can find rest and safety in God. He promises to protect us, and shelter us, as Psalm 121:5-6 clearly state: "The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night." Christ is my shelter, the one Who will renew me, the one Who will hold me and make sure I don't fall. I think it is so incredible that God can love me that much, when I so often stumble and fall. Even when I'm going through a bad week like this and focusing on other things, He calmly and gently whispers to me, like He did with Elijah in 1 Kings 19, calling me to Himself, and reminding me I can rest in Him, and reminding me that I cannot stand without Him. And I also love how God doesn't make things like this absolutely unbearable. There are just some things He sprinkles throughout a day, even when it's horrible, that just makes you smile and makes you think, "That was God's love showing through." Like.....
When I lost my dinner theater ticket, my friend who sold it to me just gave me another one
My amazing sweet cousin gave me $5 for the heck of it
When I spilled my latte at Starbucks, the guy who works there (yeah, the guy who knows my name ;) offered to make me another one
Hugs from people
Doing something in small group for a change that made me focus on God instead of myself and my problems
Bible verses that completely apply to me that just happen to have something exactly to do with me
Things like that are just little reminders that God is watching me. I think bad weeks like this are just reminders that I need to focus on Him and love Him and spend time with Him. He -is- my life. He's my God. He is jealous for me, and He wants my love. He deserves my love and worship. Bad weeks are bad. But they're also good. They're part of God's plan. They're there for a purpose. And God is there to help me through it. And I think that's pretty cool.
And He is jealous for me Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me And oh, how He loves us, oh Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us, oh
So the State Mock Trial competition has come and gone. It was an amazing experience, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the feeling.
That is, the feeling of walking into the building with only four and a half hours of sleep and bacon laying on my stomach and feeling like I was about to puke. Or the feeling of going against a tough team and a cranky judge. Or the feeling of listening to "All I Do is Win" and "Baby" and "Tik Tok" and "Don't Stop Believing" at the reception. Aahh, I'm getting far too ahead of myself. I need to back up a tad and explain the whole fantastic experience of the state competition. So it all began on early Friday afternoon. We met at the church we usually meet at to load everyone and their luggage up in the vans and drive up to where state was being held. We drove up.... a long drive. And gosh darn it I was worn out. When we finally arrived at the hotel we would be staying at, all of us walked up to our rooms to chill out. We expected to be bored the whole afternoon, but our afternoon was far from dull. My roommates were supposed to be my buddies Rachel, Marina, and Molly, but Molly ended up switching out with another one of my friends, Holly. We spent some of the afternoon in our room talking and having a grand 'ol time. Then one of the parents of one of our attorneys on the team, Mrs. Ramona, came up and said she was driving to Target and told us if we wanted to, we could come along. And let me tell you, going to Target with around a dozen unruly teenagers is about as delightful of a time as you can have. We played sardines and tried on hats and looked at cards and had the time of our lives. We stayed there for about 30-45 minutes, and then left to go to Chick-fil-a to eat supper before heading back to the hotel. I sat at a table with some of my favorite people: Steven, Josh, Daniel, Phillip, and Hance. After we finished eating, we loaded everyone back up into the vans and drove back to the hotel. Once back at the hotel, we all piled into our coach's (Mr. Ricks) room to go over last minute things before the competition the next day. We collected and organized stipulations, team rosters, exhibits, witness statements, etc. After organizing all the documents, Courtney, Benji, Spencer, and Steven went over their openings and closings, which were marvelous (quite obviously). After completing that, all of the attorney/witness pairs teamed up and went through their directs one more time. After that was done, we were free to do whatever we wanted. Which for me, included making a hilarious video with Phillip and Daniel, drinking hot chocolate with Marina and Gabby downstairs, and hanging out with Rachel, Holly, and Marina until about 1 in the morning in our rooms. Yes. 1 in the morning. Let me tell you, we discovered when we woke up at 5:30 that it was not a good idea. But at the time, we were having too fantastic of a time to even notice. Flash forward to 5:30. At 5:30, after getting a total of four and a half hours of sleep, an alarm going off is not exactly the top thing on your list that you want to hear. Holly and Rachel got up about 10 minutes before Marina and I did, and after that it was a race to get on makeup, fix our hair, change into our suits, eat breakfast, and tear out the door to the vans in the dark. About breakfast. I went downstairs with my AE sweat pants and a T-shirt still on, and I see all of these people in suits. Teams from all over the state. And then I ran into Molly, who was the only person downstairs who, like me, was wearing some good 'ol PJs. We completely appreciated the fact that we were the only people downstairs being fully awesome. Well, I got my breakfast which consisted of some fruit, a cup of yogurt, and a few pieces of bacon. Note to self - NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER eat bacon before a competition, no matter what. Well, I went back upstairs to eat breakfast, and got through the yogurt and two pieces of bacon. Then I raced to get ready, and then tore downstairs to be with the team. Flash forward to about 7:30. We're standing in the parking lot. We're all hyped up. We're so excited. Our first time at state. Our very first. We're ready to go. We stood in the parking lot in a huge circle as we prayed before we went in. We walked into the building. We walked upstairs near to our rooms. We went ahead and entered the room where the defense would be competing in for the first round. But not 5 minutes after we had come in, another team came in, saying that was the room where they were competing too. Two or three of the guys looked to be about 10 years old, even though they had to be in high school. But I thought it was hilarious and figured the team would be a joke. Well, our team decided to go in the next room over, so we could have some time alone to prepare. Well, it was in that room that we discovered the team that would be going against our defense was the team that went to nationals last year, and was ranked in some of the top teams in the whole nation. ~gulp~ Imagine our nervousness. It was our first round, and we were going against one of the top teams in the nation! Flash forward to 9:00. We're in our rooms. Our plantiff is prepared. I'm sitting there talking to Aaron, one of the witnesses for the plantiff. As we talked, the team we would be going against entered the room. Compared to the teams we saw at regionals, this team looked surprisingly professional. I assured myself this team would be no trouble at all. Flash forward to 9:30. The jurors and judge finally, 30 minutes late, enter the room. The courtroom is called into order. We all act professional. We all sit up completely poised and prepared. Stomachs are churning a little. We begin. Courtney did her opening, which was phenomenal. Then the guy who would be crossing me stood up and gave his opening, which was surprisingly good. He sat down. I, being the first witness, stood up and went up to the witness stand. I was more nervous than usual.... not to mention the bacon I had eaten for breakfast wasn't helping much. The first couple of questions in my direct felt a little shaky because I was so nervous. But it got better. Well. Until the guy started objecting. He started objecting, and though they were good objections, some of them I didn't agree with. But apparently the judge hadn't gotten the proper amount of sugars in his coffee that morning because he seemed to be in a snappy, surly sort of mood. He was sustaining all the opposing council's most unfounded objections, and overruling the ones that were actually good and I thought should have been sustained. I was already somewhat ticked. Then my crossing attorney stood up, and let me tell you, he blew me away. I was amazed at how good he was. By far, he was the best crossing attorney I have had the whole year. He asked tough questions, and he was a feisty and full of pluck. I was very impressed. The judge was very cantankerous on cross, but I tried to stay calm and cool. As soon I was done, and I got down. I felt like I had just been crushed. The judge had sustained so many of the other team's objections, and my crossing attorney had been very difficult. Nonetheless, everyone told me I did well. The round continued, and things didn't get much better. The judge overruled about 99% of our objections, and sustained about 90% of their objections. And all of ours were good, and well founded. Most of theirs were good and well founded, but they really overused this one objection. I was getting frustrated. But finally, about the middle of the round, when their lead attorney was crossing our lead witness, Hayley, things got better. Automatically the judge seemed to be a fine & dandy mood, and he was being very fair, sustaining and overruling all the objections that should have been sustained or overruled. I was impressed. The rest of the round just got better. By the end, I felt like we had done a fantastic job. After the round was over, we had a little bit of a recess, and then everyone came back into the room so the jurors would give us their thoughts/critique. They seemed relatively fair. And then, after they were done, we were done. Yes. No longer did I have to listen to an cantankerous judge. We had a quick meeting with our whole team, and I was delighted to hear our defense had actually done quite well against the marvelous team who had done so well in nationals last year. Flash forward to around 11:45 or so. We went downstairs to eat some food our parents had fixed (see, that's the great thing about being on a homeschool team. All the moms are great cooks and they fix food for large crowds all the time anyway). I grabbed a tasty wrap and some grapes, and hung out with Marina for about 45 minutes. When we walked downstairs again, I realized everyone was gone. I freaked out, ran down the escalator in my high heels (which was difficult considering I had an awful blister), and tried to find out where we were supposed to be. I ran into my mom who told me which room to head off to, and I walked very quickly down to the room with Marina, and we were barely in time to get there. Thankfully the room was pretty busy and everyone was buzzing around, so no one really noticed that we were late in getting to the courtroom. I could already tell this team wouldn't be nearly as hard, and I was correct. I wasn't nearly as nervous, as my initial nerves were out, not to mention I knew the team wouldn't be as hard. The round went very smoothly, for the most part. The judge was fair (sometimes overly lenient, in my opinion), the other team was relatively good, and our team was better. You really can't get much better than that. I felt like everyone did fantastically. After that round, we all got together and headed off to the reception. We hung out for about 30 minutes, until they finally started announcing awards and such. They listed off all the coaches and had them come up, and they did all the official clapping for all the people who put this stuff together who you really couldn't care less about, because honestly all you care about is hearing who is going to the semifinals the next day. Only four teams (out of about 18) go to the semifinals, and it's a huge deal if you go. If I recall correctly, they did the outstanding attorney awards first. I was so incredibly excited when they announced that my brother, Spencer, had won an award in both rounds, which only about 6 attorneys did, out of the at least 20 or 30 that they called out. Also, one of our other attorneys, Benji, won an award, which was fantastic. Unfortunately, none of our witnesses won an award, but we did get something very, very exciting. You see, they give out a professionalism award every year to one team who displays professionalism and good sportsmanship. I wasn't exactly expecting our team to get it, especially since our team is a first timer. But they announced the winner of the professionalism award was..... our team. Our team. Imagine the excitement! Out of 18 teams we had won it! We were very excited of course, and my bro went to go receive the award.
Then, it came time. The time. The time to announce whether we were going to semifinals or not. The first team was announced. It didn't surprise me. The second team was announced. It didn't surprise me. The third team was announced. It didn't surprise me. They were about to call out the last team. I had resigned myself to not winning. I had a gut feeling we wouldn't. They called out the last team. It wasn't us. I half felt like crying, but half felt so pleased, so satisfied, and so incredibly proud of our team I could bust. I gave our team members hugs, reminding them we were an awesome team, and we won the professionalism award, and we all did well. We were all somewhat disappointed, but we were all proud of ourselves. Proud we made it to state. Proud we did well. But mostly proud because we're a team. And we stick up for each other. And we encourage each other. And we're awesome whether we win or not. We're a team. And I'm proud of that.
But really a huge piece of excitement came today. We didn't know who had won the finals. One of the teams who had gone to finals was the team that our defense had gone against in the first round. We found out today they had won, and we were excited because we had been rooting for them. But the best piece of news is this team, the team who had ranked in some of the highest teams in the nation, contacted our attorney coach today and told us that first, they were disappointed we hadn't gone to semifinals because they had been rooting for us, and second, they said we were quite possibly the best team they went against in the whole weekend. Imagine that! I'm so proud of us. I'm proud of our team. We rock.
Ah. So I know that I just previously did a post on piano. But I can't help but do another one. For some reason, lately I have just fallen in love with piano. I've been just sitting at the piano actually wanting to play. You see, I seem to play this game with my piano - it includes hating it for about three months, and then falling in love with it anew and adoring it with every ounce I can muster. I've been playing as much as I can with as much passion as I can. As Ludwig van Beethoven put it, "To play without passion is inexcusable!" Mhmm. So very true. As of right now, I'm terribly excited, because I have an excuse to play and play and play. That reason being - it appears that I will soon be working on 10 pieces. I'm working on two sections of a Beethoven sonata (Op. 2 No. 3), the piece called Soft Lights, Chopin's Nocturne in E-flat Major, Mozart's Concerto in G Major, maybe a Bach invention or two, Moszkowski's Etude in A flat Major, and my piano teacher wants to start me on a Scarlatti sonata, an impromptu by Schubert, and a partita by Bach. So I'm very very excited and happy about it. Not to mention I want to learn some stuff by myself - some Jim Brickman, George Winston (only the best pianist ever), some hymn arrangements, and maybe - possibly - some Schumann. Not to mention I like coming up with things myself. But that's the plan for now. I shall leave all of you off with this quote from what I was writing in my journal this afternoon concerning piano: "It brings me joy. It's fun and awesome. I dunno what made me suddenly fall in love with it again. It's like around the competition and Festival I fell in love with it. Actually... come to think of it, it happened around this one time... So Adam [my youth pastor] taught a message on the parable of the talents, and he was saying how we should use everything God gave us. And while we were discussing it in small group, it hit me that I wasn't using all my talents on piano. I realized God has given me a talent for piano (both literally and figuratively ;), and if I don't use it, I am dishonoring God. After that, plus the fact I had the competition and Festival coming up, I put 30 minutes to an hour in every day, when previously I had only been putting in two or three hours a week [and yes, actually surviving pretty well with it, if I do say so myself], at best. But God will bless me if I used my talent to His glory. He wants me to use it to His glory. And I want to use it to His glory. Perhaps it's like Eric Liddell says about running in Chariots of Fire, 'I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.' I mean... that's how I feel when I play piano. I don't always feel that way. But I know He has given me something He hasn't given everybody. I need to grasp it, hold on to it as tightly as I can and give it my all."
P.S. Watch this guy play piano. I'm hoping to death this will be the impromptu that I get, because it's gorgeous. I want to play like this guy sooooo flippin bad. He's the epitome of musical.
One thing has been on my mind this whole week. What? Piano. Why? Probably because I had two piano competitions this week. Okay... so one of them wasn't an actual competition, but it was an evaluation where you play in front of a judge, which to me is just as bad as a competition. This whole week I've been practicing piano like crazy. Lots of my free time went into playing and practicing and going through things over and over and over. Mostly I've been worried about the concerto I've been playing. I've only had it about 6 or 7 months, and that isn't exactly long enough to learn a 10 minute piece to play in front of a judge. I didn't really have it down until... well... honestly, yesterday. I thought I was ready to go and show the judges that I was the most incredible pianist ever. Well... today came the competitions. The first one, Festival, like I said was just an evaluation. But I had my concerto first. Without warming up. BAD idea. My concerto.... I bombed it. It died. I failed. It was absolutely awful... at best. Okay, honestly, it wasn't so bad that I forgot where I was and had to stop or anything like that. But I missed so many notes (or even two or three measures at some points), it was pretty bad. Some of it actually wasn't too bad. Other parts, I'd rather have erased from my memory. But that was the piece I was most nervous about. So when it was over, it was over. And goodness gracious was I happy about it being over. I played a couple of hymns for the same judge, and then I was done with that judge. Thankfully. And I hope I never see her again because it would be an embarrassment after how I played. Anyway, I was done with the concerto, so pretty much all of my jitters went away. I had two more pieces to play - one being the Scherzo section of a Beethoven sonata, and the other piece is called Soft Lights. I went in to see the next judge, who listened to those two pieces. They went quite fantastically, for the most part. Understandably, though, because I've been playing the sonata for over a year, and Soft Lights is slow and not terribly difficult either. So I was done with that. I was done with Festival. As far as I know, I got a superior in my hymns and solo pieces. My concerto? I don't even want to know what awful comments I got. But it's okay - thankfully things like that don't upset me much. This afternoon, though, I had the real competition. The big deal. The thing that actually counted. Amusingly enough, I was immensely less nervous about this. Reason being, I didn't have to touch my concerto again. No more concerto playing for another scary judge. This competition was at 3:15 for me. I played the sonata and Soft Lights again, amusingly enough for the same judge that I played them for this morning. But I was glad to have him, because he seemed very amiable and fair. I played my sonata, and felt a little more shaky on it than I did the previous morning, but it wasn't too bad. And like I said, the judge seemed fair, and he seemed to be the kind of judge who would be lenient, and understand being nervous and such (and heaven knows I get nervous... sometimes my hands shake so bad that I completely fail at a piece). I then played Soft Lights... and rocked it. It was nearly perfect. Maybe one or two minor slip ups, but besides that it went marvelously. I walked out. I was done with all competitions. Joy and freedom and release. Quite honestly, I hate piano competitions. Playing for my own pleasure, okay, that's the epitome of fun. Playing for a judge under pressure with my hands shaking and me messing up every two notes? No thank you. Anyway, I felt pretty good about it, but I wasn't sure if I was going on to state. My dad and I waited outside for the last two students to play, and then the judge would announce who was going to state. Finally, they were finished. All the students stood in a row looking intently at the judge. My heart was beating faster and faster. The judge finally said, "And the winner for the 10th grade students...." He announced the name of some random girl I didn't know. I figured there was only one winner per grade, so I felt kind of disappointed. I had wanted to win, but it wasn't a big deal. But then... he called out my name. My name. Like. My name. MY name. I wanted to scream and dance around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Okay, unpleasant imagery, terribly sorry, but really, I was unbelievably excited! I couldn't believe I had actually made it to state! My teacher was super excited too (especially after the concerto fiasco this morning). And so I had done it. I was immediately texting my boyfriend, calling my mom.... it was an awesome moment. In fact... my dad and I were so excited we celebrated with some Starbucks and their awesome new petite desserts (they're so cute and yummy), and then my dad took me to Barnes & Noble and told me to go get a book that I wanted to buy... which of course, happened to be a music book. ;) It's the piano solos from the new version of Pride & Prejudice (okay, I'm not a huge fan of the movie, but the music is gorgeous). So. That was my day. Filled with too much piano for my taste. But it was quite marvelous and I had a wonderful time. <3 Have a blessed Sunday!
I have to say that today was quite an exquisite day. Nothing terribly special. But I have a feeling I'm going to remember this day very well. Today was the first Saturday in probably two or three months when there wasn't something going on, so my mom and I seized the day and decided to do some fun stuff. Our first stop was the florist, because my dad and I are going to a Father Daughter Dinner at our church tomorrow night, and I have to have flowers. They're super pretty. Pink & white roses. Doesn't exactly match my blue dress, but they were nearly out of flowers, so it was all I could get. After getting the flowers, we returned home to eat a quick lunch, and then we scurried out in some drizzly weather to go to a furniture store downtown. It was quite a nice little place, and rather frigid cold, might I add. But my mom is redoing a lot of our living room & library, so she wants some new chairs and such. After going there, we went to a quaint and almost eccentric local coffee shop. They have just recently redone a lot of it, and I was so excited. The place is rather large now, with lots of couches and little deviant chairs in the nice nooks and crannies that little local coffee shops seem to have. My mom and I got some coffee and went off to a nice couch in about the middle of the coffee shop, where it was convenient for me to observe some of the people who were in the coffeehouse. I had a marvelous time picking out people and deciding what kind of life they lived, or what kind of personality they have. The thing I love about this cafe is it has the truly beatnik people there. Starbucks, okay, it has some beatnik people from time to time. But local coffeehouses have that particular type of person that is just so interesting to watch. You know the kind. The guy in the corner with skinny jeans and a goatee and glasses. Or the girl with a cute beret reading a book of free verse poetry. For some reason I love to watch those kinds of people and guess about their lives. They're so different, and have a free personality, of sorts. Today I got to observe a young man, probably 25-ish, reading a book while listening to probably some alternative music, sitting in a nook, wearing a rather beatnik hat. And a girl who I believe works at Starbucks came in wearing something like a beret. And then there was a college student, who my mom and I both believed to be a medical student. Oh. And the guy in the corner playing his banjo the whole time. It was... to put it plain and simple - awesome. After we went to the coffeehouse, we went off to a cute little antique mall. I haven't been to an antique mall in a while, so I was very excited to be able to go. My mom and I quietly walked through all the hallways filled with... well... mostly junk. But every now and then I found a cool little treasure. There was even an exquisitely elegant wedding dress with a full train in there. It was gorgeous... but unfortunately, I have no need for one yet, so I had to pass it by. ~wink~ There were also several beautiful paintings in there, and chairs that could be reupholstered, and little nick-nacks and such. But none were such to my taste that I actually bought anything. But they were excellent picture material, which unfortunately, I didn't realize until about 15 minutes before we left (I'm still training my photographer eye, you see). But in the time that I did take pictures, I got some neat ones, which are the ones you see scattered throughout this post. Anyway, my mom ended up buying a couple of chairs that she had been looking at for about a week now. They are in desperate need of reupholstering, but they're rather cute chairs. I may do a post of them being reupholstered, so we'll see. Anyway, that is a summary of my delightful day spent with my mom on this dreary, drizzly, but most fantastic Saturday.
So I hope all of you have a blessed Sunday. Love to all
Springtime. Oh the wondrous time of year when beautiful flowers bloom and everyone starts sneezing and schnorting (yes, schnorting is a word. Go look it up in the Madison dictionary) But honestly, I couldn't be more delighted that spring is here. Shorts and t-shirts are my kinda clothes. Slip on some flip flops and it's time to roll. Not to mention springtime seems to be a very romantic-ish time of year. Not "romantic" like weddings and love and all that mushy stuff, but romantic as in "Anne of Green Gables romantic." Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. I love the quietness and beauty of spring... David describes in well in Psalm 19, "The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork." The universe declares God's glory. Every single flower declares God's glory, every new leaf declares God's glory... His creation is truly amazing. I love the way Charles Dickens describes spring: "It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." Spring is really one of the most beautiful times of the year - it's filled with new life. (including the lives of roaches and spiders and stinging insects, which quite honestly, I could do without) As it says (rather poetically, of course) in Song of Solomon chapter 2, "For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree ripens it's figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance." I believe winter is really over... spring is coming.
Feel the sun on your skin, growing strong and warm again. Watch the ground: there's something moving, something is breaking through, new life is breaking through
Spring is coming ~Steven Curtis Chapman, Spring is Coming
"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome." ~Anne Bradstreet
We all have a little nostalgia from time to time. But I think I tend to have it worse than some people sometimes. For instance.... I'm already feeling nostalgic about high school. And I'm not even out of my sophomore year. Pretty pitiful, I have to admit. Who feels nostalgic about the future? ~raises hand pitifully~ But really, high school is going by so fast. It feels like just yesterday I was the dorky freshman who was trying to be cool, but failed miserably by having dorky glasses, greasy hair, and braces. And now I'm nearly at the end of my sophomore year, and soon I'll be an upperclassman. Scary, much! The quicker life goes by, the tighter I seem to hold on to where I am now. I know that high school will be some of the best times of my life, and I don't want to let them go. I know that God has some awesome things planned for me in the future (I mean, they have to be great, right? If someone plans your life at the beginning of the world... well, you know it's pretty well planned out). I don't know what they are. They could be really tough things, they could be exciting things... they could be both. Which is what scares me. Which is why, of course, I love my high school years thus far. They've been fantastic. My high school years have definitely been the best years of my life so far, despite the wandering bits of drama that strike terror into the hearts of all high schoolers. But you know, even with that, and maybe some through that, I have made the best friends I've ever had, and had the best times of my life. There is always someone there to pray for me, to encourage me, be crazy with me, laugh with me, listen to me - really, high school has been amazing. But God has amazing plans for me. I know He does. And even though they scare me sometimes, I know I have no reason to fear, because as Paul says in Ephesians 1, God has "... a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth." God has an awesome plan for my life. Like I said, I don't know what He has planned for me - if it's difficult or easy or lots of both. But whatever it is, I know it's a plan that He'll carry me through. No matter what, He has promised me, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." And He goes on to say, continuing what He said in Isaiah 43, "Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you." God loves us. He has a plan for us. I know He has a plan for me. And I'm looking forward to seeing what His plan for my life is.
" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " ~Jeremiah 29:11
ng these weeks when I have to rely on God the most. It's not relying on myself, or my friends boosting me up, or anything like that. It's all God. It's so neat, because tonight in my small group at church, we went completely off the curriculum and just studied some verses in the Bible, when God is talking, and He says, "I am" or "My name is". And we came up with lots and lots of awesome verses. But I feel like one that really applies to me is Proverbs 18:10, which is ironically the verse that I read aloud. It says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." We discussed what a strong tower is. We discussed how we find safety there. When we feel most vulnerable, when we feel most weak, when we feel like we just can't even stand up, we can run into our strong tower, where safety and strength is found, and where we can be renewed.
